Countrygurl
New member
WOW! those were all amazing! i thought that i could write, but you make connections within the meanings of words that i can't do, and these are definitely awesome. Good job!
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Can you offer a little help on a couple poems or just let me know what you think
- Thread starter Countrygurl
- Start date
of them? I kind of lost track near the end of this one.
Combing through fear with well-torn fingers
A voice of hope in my mind silently lingers
Mocking my triumphs, scorning my loss
I've waged my heart, the ritual cost
Raping my soul for my own selfish satisfaction
Deep within, my heart's last contraction
Hatred survives me
It's all my eyes see
I falter through forests of felicity
Not caring who might be missing me
His hand throws a stone
Piercing straight to my bone
A wilted tear falls through the soil
My hate seeps up and begins to boil
His hands unfold in a gentle kiss
The only thing I'll ever miss.
This one is very old...I remember writing it...very angrily. Lol.
You felt so near
Whispered in my ear
So close to me last night
Warm breath that cared
Feel love I dared
Wish this could be what's right
Sudden sunlight
Your voice takes flight
Into the abyss of my dreams
Romance distraught
Never what we thought
Can you hear my inner screams?
A cry to try
Just one last time
Sadness most deafening
Shrieks of pain
The last again
But were you listening?
This one's old too, but it used to be one of my favorites. I had two names for it. 'Beautiful Girl' or 'Conclusion to Come'.
Convoluted I stand secluded
At the edge of the world
Behind me I see you
With a beautiful girl
Should I hurl myself
Off of this earth?
The question repeats
Over and over
I won't let you throw me
I can do it well enough on my own
Staring down, there's no sound
Besides the butterfly breath
That crosses my chapped lips
Cold breezes rise to kiss my face
Absolutely terrified
You're watching me inch
Closer to the smooth let down
To fall from the world is simple
But very permanent
I fear commitment so I step back
You don't reach for me
Your arms are entangled
With your beautiful girl
You watch and see if someone
Will hold me back so you don't have to
You're so afraid
Scared to care you hold her close
And watch for hours while I plan to fly
You won't do a thing with my love
You'll sit there with your girl
Hands over her eyes - she can't know me
And observe how my insides die.
Combing through fear with well-torn fingers
A voice of hope in my mind silently lingers
Mocking my triumphs, scorning my loss
I've waged my heart, the ritual cost
Raping my soul for my own selfish satisfaction
Deep within, my heart's last contraction
Hatred survives me
It's all my eyes see
I falter through forests of felicity
Not caring who might be missing me
His hand throws a stone
Piercing straight to my bone
A wilted tear falls through the soil
My hate seeps up and begins to boil
His hands unfold in a gentle kiss
The only thing I'll ever miss.
This one is very old...I remember writing it...very angrily. Lol.
You felt so near
Whispered in my ear
So close to me last night
Warm breath that cared
Feel love I dared
Wish this could be what's right
Sudden sunlight
Your voice takes flight
Into the abyss of my dreams
Romance distraught
Never what we thought
Can you hear my inner screams?
A cry to try
Just one last time
Sadness most deafening
Shrieks of pain
The last again
But were you listening?
This one's old too, but it used to be one of my favorites. I had two names for it. 'Beautiful Girl' or 'Conclusion to Come'.
Convoluted I stand secluded
At the edge of the world
Behind me I see you
With a beautiful girl
Should I hurl myself
Off of this earth?
The question repeats
Over and over
I won't let you throw me
I can do it well enough on my own
Staring down, there's no sound
Besides the butterfly breath
That crosses my chapped lips
Cold breezes rise to kiss my face
Absolutely terrified
You're watching me inch
Closer to the smooth let down
To fall from the world is simple
But very permanent
I fear commitment so I step back
You don't reach for me
Your arms are entangled
With your beautiful girl
You watch and see if someone
Will hold me back so you don't have to
You're so afraid
Scared to care you hold her close
And watch for hours while I plan to fly
You won't do a thing with my love
You'll sit there with your girl
Hands over her eyes - she can't know me
And observe how my insides die.
Countrygurl
New member
WOW! those were all amazing! i thought that i could write, but you make connections within the meanings of words that i can't do, and these are definitely awesome. Good job!