What is an astronomical unit? - One helluva big apartment.
What is Preparation A? - It is the name of an over-the-counter product used to relieve the pain and suffering of asteroids.
I once stayed up all night wondering where the sun went to at night, then it dawned on me.
Astronauts do it above the atmosphere.
Astronomers do it spectroscopically.
Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'
It is reported that Copernicus' parents said the following to him at the age of twelve: "Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around you."
How do you know that Saturn is married more than once? Because he has lots of rings.
According to astronomers, next week Wednesday will occur twice. They say such a thing happens only once every 60,000 years, and, although they don't know why it occurs, they're glad they have an extra day to figure it out.
