Can you correct me this composition please ? I am having an exam in short-time?

marzialettere

New member
Write about a genuinely frightening experience you have had.
Express the emotions you felt at the time of the experience, how you felt directly after and how you see it now.


When I Think about a frightened experience that really scared me, I always thought a situation which I found about four years ago.
When I was eighteen-year-old I decided to leave my city because I wanted go to London to improve my English, so after had rent an house in a good zone of London, I left Palermo.

Initially I was a little scared because all people who I spoke told me that London was a dangerous city and I had to stay careful, so I did it!
The days spent and I was feeling more quiet and the fear was diminishing.

A day while I was sleeping somebody come into my room and stolen everything from it!
I didn’t ear nothing, any type of noise….nothing.
When I woke up I saw my room in disorder, everything was on the floor, quickly I realized that a thief was entered in my room and suddenly I felt really frightened, because somebody violated my privacy and saw me in pyjama, so I Stared to cry.
That was the most terrible experience in all my life!
From that moment I started again to be frightened and after some months I decided to come back to Palermo.
Now, every time that I think that episode I fell bad and I’m still shocked because I still don’t know how that thief entered in my room so long as the door was closed!


Write about a genuinely frightening experience you have had.
Express the emotions you felt at the time of the experience, how you felt directly after and how you see it now.


When I Think about a frightened experience that really scared me, I always thought a situation which I found about four years ago.
When I was eighteen-year-old I decided to leave my city because I wanted go to London to improve my English, so after had rent an house in a good zone of London, I left Palermo.

Initially I was a little scared because all people who I spoke told me that London was a dangerous city and I had to stay careful, so I did it!
The days spent and I was feeling more quiet and the fear was diminishing.

A day while I was sleeping somebody come into my room and stolen everything from it!
I didn’t ear nothing, any type of noise….nothing.
When I woke up I saw my room in disorder, everything was on the floor, quickly I realized that a thief was entered in my room and suddenly I felt really frightened, because somebody violated my privacy and saw me in pyjama, so I Stared to cry.
That was the most terrible experience in all my life!
From that moment I started again to be frightened and after some months I decided to come back to Palermo.
Now, every time that I think that episode I fell bad and I’m still shocked because I still don’t know how that thief entered in my room so long as the door was closed!
CAN YOU CORRECT ME THIS COMPOSITION WITHOUT TWIST IT PLEASE?
 
I've had a horrible experience 4 yrs ago, when I was 18 I decided to leave Palermo for London hoping to improve my English. I rented a room during my stay there. Come one night while am asleep a burglar happened to struck my room without hearing any noise the burglar succeeded in taking every valuables that I have. I have only realize what happened that night when I woke up in the morning and saw my room all in mess and one thing that really scared me is what If the burglar killed me or raped me that night. After seeing my room all in mess, I couldn't help but cry and have pity on myself. That was the most terrible thing that happened in my life. After that incident I was living in fear until I decided to go back in my hometown.
 
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