Can you all critic on my new poem called dear love?? I NEED IT NOW!?

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No title 4 this recital

New member
Dear Love

Love has stabbed my heart
Thinking you were cool from the start
Love is just a name to cover your face
Betraying me with your lips and curvy waist
Love loves no one
Love is hate
Love made me blind
Numbing the pain inside
Now you left me, making me feel like I want to die
Name of love is the shelter for its hypocrisy
Crippling my heart and slowly killing me
 
hmmmm, quite an angsty poem there. its pretty good.
though i think you should take out cool, find another word for it.
and maybe instead of curvy waist you could put "and your curves."
curvy waist seems sort of childish, or something to that effect.
but its good :)
sorry if this doesn't help or offends you in any way.
 
line six---love and hate kiss each other every day, they are so close.

you have a good idea. let it set a few days and then go back and read this out loud. Fix what you think needs fixing. Don't get rid of the original though, it has your raw emotions in it.

this isn't that bad and I love the closing line!!!!!
 
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