happy mess
New member
I know it's not right, but I am not prescribed to Xanax but last night I took some.
It even surprised me, because I am Bipolar and do not even take medicine for that because I think it's weird and I don't want to mess with my brain chemicals. I feel really bad and stupid about it, but now today I have felt so out of control.
Just this morning, I have cried uncontrollably about something as dumb as my eyes are red from allergies and I am supposed to go apply for a job today and don't want to look high.
I cried because (even though normally I consider myself to be attractive, and most people would agree) I looked in the mirror and saw the ugliest face I have ever seen.
I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could like a million times because I couldn't make myself stop crying.
And I feel really suicidal (not like I am literally going to kill myself) but I wish I was dead.
Right now I'm having a moment of clarity, but I'm afraid it will happen again.
Does anyone know if this is a side effect of Xanax or if bipolar people get freaking crazy from it?
Please help I am losing my mind.
I'm never doing it again, regardless, but I'd like to know if it was just a weird reaction or what.
It even surprised me, because I am Bipolar and do not even take medicine for that because I think it's weird and I don't want to mess with my brain chemicals. I feel really bad and stupid about it, but now today I have felt so out of control.
Just this morning, I have cried uncontrollably about something as dumb as my eyes are red from allergies and I am supposed to go apply for a job today and don't want to look high.
I cried because (even though normally I consider myself to be attractive, and most people would agree) I looked in the mirror and saw the ugliest face I have ever seen.
I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could like a million times because I couldn't make myself stop crying.
And I feel really suicidal (not like I am literally going to kill myself) but I wish I was dead.
Right now I'm having a moment of clarity, but I'm afraid it will happen again.
Does anyone know if this is a side effect of Xanax or if bipolar people get freaking crazy from it?
Please help I am losing my mind.
I'm never doing it again, regardless, but I'd like to know if it was just a weird reaction or what.