Mate, it sounds like you really need to question what your own beliefs are you are asking this because of religion... but believe me, if you are saying you are in a dark place then you have to get out and discover yourself.
You don't sound like you are homosexual, you seem to questioning what on earth is going on around you. My advice is take a long hard think. Are you in the right place because it sounds like you don't like it where you are?
You are 19 now, it's time to drop the pressures put on you and start steering your own future in the direction you want it to go... because I guarantee to you, there is long way to go as you are still a young adult and if you don't follow your feelings you will regret not listening to me. Don't screw it up, only you can make the decision and who gives a damn what others think!!!
If it means leaving where you are now... so be it! It is your choice.
You don't sound like you are homosexual, you seem to questioning what on earth is going on around you. My advice is take a long hard think. Are you in the right place because it sounds like you don't like it where you are?
You are 19 now, it's time to drop the pressures put on you and start steering your own future in the direction you want it to go... because I guarantee to you, there is long way to go as you are still a young adult and if you don't follow your feelings you will regret not listening to me. Don't screw it up, only you can make the decision and who gives a damn what others think!!!
If it means leaving where you are now... so be it! It is your choice.