Can I have you opinion of these poems?

Roxby

New member
... im in total awe those were incredible you've got a gift and dont care about that guy who posted to kill yourself hes a jerk and hes jealous
 
"Thank you"

Our lives seem to fall so fast
It seems like we have no time to say goodbye to the past
We all feel like no one cares
While receiving the demeaning stares..
No one can hear the screaming inside
is there anyway to make is subside
while we long for it to go away
we pray so hard for a better day

When that day finally comes
we are more then willing to come out of the slums
now that are lives are so great
we are having fun all day and staying up late
We finally found the one that cares
no longer caring about the stares
We constantly remind them of how much they are needed
and that with out them we would have been defeated
It would kill us to see them go
So we remind them that we love them so
With them are lives feel so complete
when we think about them our heart seems to skip a beat
--------------------------------------…

"untitled"
More and more, every day

seem to take, their lives away

Boys are girls of every age

all have lives that are oh so strange

A quick cut, down the wrist

will send them to a cloudy mist

As days go by, more and more go

what made them do it we may know

The familiess all cry in pain

because the child cut down the vein
 
wow, how teenage-girl can you be. "cloudy mist"
death is not a beautiful thing to write about. it's your best option.
edit: yeah, i'm really jealous. i want to suck at writing too.
 
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