Can I give advice on Poetry, what do you think?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Wake-up & Live <3
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Wake-up & Live <3

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I feel that well, maybe even not good poets can give good advice, but obviously poets that have acquired some form of talent can give better advice, so that age old question in this category, what do you think of my poem.

Incircling Love

Love, such a simple word to be given such power.
That by the mere touch of it upon lips can make one
quiver with uneasiness or complete exaltation.
How blessed we are to be able to create such emotions,
and how cursed are we to not always know what to do with them.
It is not love that we fear, but that we may never find
the kind of love we've always been hoping for.
That when our mind has finally set itself on someone,
you'll find that your heart isn't completely in it.
Good fortune I wish to all the lovers of the world,
that they may find their Romeo or Juliet without such tragedy.
Let their heart and mind find the love they've always deserved;
Instead of the love they would have simply settled for.
Do not hide away yourself from what may lye within your heart.
Embrace the quivering feelings so your love will not falter.
For no love is ever weaker or stronger than another,
Unless that love is held within.
Not saying this is good enough to steal, but I had some kid in my grade take a poem of mine of my myspace and use it...in my english class! But this is copyrighted, I'm paranoid sorry >_<
 
This bit:
Love, such a simple word to be given such power.
That by the mere touch of it upon lips can make one
quiver with uneasiness or complete exaltation.

could be shortened but 'Oh Wow'

This bit:
For no love is ever weaker or stronger than another,
Unless that love is held within.

again 'Oh Wow'

The rest of the poem, needs to be cut drastically. It's prose written as a poem, inflated and gassy. Learn to kill it and boil it down to its bones.

No economy no poem.
 
It's good! I usually write about love. And i like how your poem ultimately ends with a lesson or a moral almost. Very good!
 
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