Can I get my husband to pay for divorce lawyers?

[Angie]

Hi. I have been married for 4 years and have been going through a divorce for almost 2 years. My Husbands first lawyer was a joke and did absolutly nothing. My husband wouldnt show up for court dates (he is in the military and stationed in a differant state) and the would continue and give him another chance and so on and so on. Finally my husband fired his first lawyer and since he has gotton the new one things have been moving along but it took over a year for him to fire the first one. My husband also wont compermise and agree on anything and all we have is the children, tax return and a car. He doesnt want custody but he cant even agree on a visiation schedual. The judge finally ordered a trial which is next wednesday. My lawyers wanted me to go for maintanance which is the same as allimony, his retirement and money for a motorcycle he bought before we were married. I told them i didnt want these things I only wanted the Kids the car and $12,000 of the $20,000 in lawyer fees that he cost me. They said we would use them as bargaining chips. So my lawyer went to a pre trial confrence with the judge today and called me and told me that the judge recomends that I only get $6000.00 of the $12,000 I was asking for, I get no Mainatnance, no retairment money and no money for the motorcycle. The judge said it was because I was actually only out to get all this money and that if I was worried about money maybe I should go out and get a full time job. And maybe get food stamps and have the state help pay for daycare. He aslo said that he knows it wasnt my husbands fault that nothing got done in the begining it was all the other attornys fault so why should he have to pay for my costs. Why should I have to pay for it. My husband had to pay a total of $6000.00 to his lawyers I had to pay over $20,000 for all the motions and petitions and defult orders that were put in because of him. I told my lawyer I wanted to continue to go to trial to give my side on why I shouldnt have to pay all this just because I dont work full time. I work part time and have 3 children. My lawyer advised me that the judge probably wouldnt change his mind so I should just take the $6000.00 and be happy with it. But I have $20,000 in loans I have to pay back. How am I going to pay them back? I live with my mother I gave my husband the house, I didnt ask for any money out of it. He lied, cheated and spend all of our money when we were living together that is why I left .So why am I being punished for his bad behavior. Should I continue with Trial, It doesnt seem like my lawyer wants to fight anymore. Should I get a new lawyer? How can I make him pay for this mess? Please help.
Thank you for your help. Sorry about no paragraphs.

I dont want the house cause I cannot afford it. And the motorcycle was bought before we were married but he paid $18,000 on it with marital money and it didnt contribute anything to the family so I am entiled to half and I even told them that as long as I got $12,000 for my Lawyer fees I didnt want the motorcycle money.

I just dont get why the judge thinks Im all about the money. There are plenty of women out there who have gotton the cars, the house, the kids, lawyers fees paid and more.

I guess Im just confused. Thank you for listening and for your help.
Oh and as for filing bankrupcy the loans for my lawyers are in my Dads name, because while we were married my husband totaly messed up my credit.

 

[Douglas B]

It's interesting that you say he got the house and yet in the motions that you said were sent in it doesn't seem to appear. You should be fighting for that so that you have a place to raise your kids, even if it is only to put something else on the table for him to think about. You sure as heck can't go out and rent with your debts, so go for the house, it's the only way you may ever see your way out of this.

 

[pragmatism_rules]

Take back the house...and get a better lawyer...and see about replacing the judge as it is obvious that this one is biased against you (based on what you have reported...). And the judge should not be telling you to get state-help with daycare when there is a father who should be paying for support.

Good luck!

 

[Darcy]

Firstly use paragraphs it makes it easier to read.

Secondly you are in charge of your lawyer and can ask for whatever you want however that doesn't mean that you will get it.

Its highly doubtful that you will get alimony as you weren't married for very long. Alimony is for women who have given up a good time of their life to raise the children, its designed to help them get back on their feet and into the workforce.

Your lawyer has a better idea of whats going to happen that any of us do..

Unfortunately its costs alot of money to go to court and fight these things out, and we must pay for our own defence.

You could always do what my husband ex did, and file bankruptcy to get out of paying. She racked up 60k in lawyers fees fighting in court, and then couldn't pay. Now she is bankrupt. There wasn't even any need to go to court, she was just being a nasty cow...but it backfired cuz now she cant get a loan, and will always have that black mark on her name.

EDIT:.........If the motorcylce was purchased before you were married then it shouldnt be part of the asset pool.