Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

  • Thread starter Thread starter kewood
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I heard this quote today by Thomas Edison, "Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work."

It is hard work, isn't it? I guess I just have to buck up and accept that fact and be ready to do some hard work. It never killed anyone did it?
 
Heh Karen just thought i`d say HELLO sorry i`ve nae been in touch for a wee while been quite busy with college stuff and voluntary work. Hope yer keeping ok quine (in case ye were wondering thats what folk fae Aberdeen call girls) loons=guys quines=girls fit=what nae=no dae=do. confusing and complicated both at the same time, but thats just me. Take Care. :wave:
 
ILB, careful with that minRABet of quitting...I know I have to do the same thing. When I did a drastic decrease, in my opinion, of 16mg to 8mg, I really felt it was too much so now I'm back up to 12mg of subutex. I am not wanting to decrease too fast. I will stay on the 12mg for at least 2 months or so before I lower my dose anymore. I know from what folks are saying and from others' experiences, that going off and thinking I can fight this on my own is not possible for me, at least not right now. It's going to take me years to get stuff straightened out in my head and my life before I can do this without the sub. That's what I'm feeling right now. I just read something about the people who use Suboxone or Subutex who relapse the most and fastest are the ones that get off of it the soonest. I am not strong enough to stay off of opiates without the chemical help that the buprenorphine gives me. I don't ever want to go back to the life of simply existing and trying to remain "not sick" by getting my drug every day. That was hell on earth and I was no good to myself or anyone else. Be careful when your brain gives you those messages, especially the impulsive ones like, "this is too much of a hassle, I can do it myself". I think most of us know we need help. Looking back on how much better you are now than you were 3 mos ago is also a good technique. Try to remeraber that even though you have some side effects now, what would it be like if you were constantly searching for your drugs and fighting withdrawals? Much worse? Yes, it would be! Try to hang in there and perhaps your doc can look for another kind of anti depressant for you? I'm taking Effexor and in the last 3 mos or so it's kind of stopped working so he added Abilify and I do notice a positive difference, more energy, feeling happier. Right now, I'm going to stay the course. That is one thing I need to let go of and that's trying to be my own dr. and pharmacist. It didn't work with narcotics and I don't think it will work trying to get off certain medicines either. I need experts to give me the best advice. Well, enough rarabling for now! Take care of yourself, ride safe and have fun!

KEW
 
Hi Iain/Karen
I too apologise for falling off the planet for a bit. Was great to hear from you Iain and thanks for the explanation of how to read your language. I love it. I can hear you talking in your accent when I read what you write. I have ancestory leading back to the Anderson Clan inthe Scottish HighlanRAB. Dont know alot about it but plan to look into it someday.
I'm pretty much struggling at the moment to stay on track. I believe my dose neeRAB to go up now that I am off the antidepressant that I have been on for 30 years the side effects from the sub are less and I am tiring of fighting the ever present urge to use.
Karen i'm with you girl dont have balls of steel either. The only time I went cold turkey I had three grand mal seizures and ended up in hospitial could have died. I was using around 20 benzo's a day on top of the opiate use and was injecting them also. I was what is called a poly drug user. The name they give to someone who takes whatever they can get hold of. Can be difficult to treat as they cannot tell what you are addicted to till you start withdrawing. The last few years have been mainly opiate use and I have injected for 7 years but I crave it real bad at times. If it wasnt for the subutex I have no doubt that after my afair with morpheine I would have and was planning to start using IV herion again. The subutex has got me to a point where I can function pretty normally just cant get rid of the dam desire to use. I'm smoking to try and gain control of this and I know that this is not the answer either. I guess it is still early days only been on the program for 4 months.
Iian am happy for you with the new girlfriend mate. Just guard your heart my friend. You are doing incredibly well. You have been a strength to me also. Even though I have been losing it a bit I keep drawing on the strength from your worRAB both of you.
Tks
Kim
 
Hello Kew,

My name is Beverley and am a recovering addict. My addiction was LIQUID MORPHINE which my surgeon put me on for my chronic physical ilnesses. Anyway 16mths ago i went into detox for 10 day's and got off the stuff and they put me on 8mgs of suboxone "BAD MOVE" but never told me it was more addictive than heroin??? I was only on a low dose and tapered right down to 1mg and fell apart to the point i was near deaths door with my chronic withdrawals so i went to my doc and he had to put me on METHADONE 25mgs to stop what was happening to me. But ur question about being in recovery well "YES" your classed as a recovering addict. It doesn't matter if ur on the sub or meth ur still classed as a recovering addict because ur not using as such!!
Sorry im probarly not explaining it properly to you. Your a bit hard on urself,you should give urself a pat on the back and say welldone have been clean for 2months and should bevery proud of ur acomplishment as it's a big one. Also never feel alone in ur recovery as there are many people to talk to about allof this. The only negative thing that ive come accross is the stigma of being a DRUG ADDICT!!! It's like when i used to go into my pharmacy to get my morp they treated me like a queen then when i went on the sub programme they turned on me and have treated me like shit to put it politely but now if there nasty i get nasty back as we should not be treated with any disrespect as we are trying to stop using drug's and they should look at it that way. If you need any advice or need to talk please let me know and i will be there for you.

sincerly,

damagedgooRAB41...............:confused::wave::dizzy::eek:

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
ilovebikes07;

have i sent a message already? quit possibly this is what happens when yer a wee bit crazy:dizzy: and you don`t get on very well with technology like i do,:rolleyes: but just incase i did`nt am just saying HELLO:wave:at the moment there`s nae enough hours in the day to get everything i need to do, done, what with college and stuff, anyway i`ll leave it there cause your probably reading that message i lost which was`nt really lost, think i`m lost sometimes.:rolleyes:Take care. Iain.
 
Hi Karen
How are you my friend? Have not heard from you for ages. Has the new medication worked. My doctor is looking at trying me on cyrabalta. Not too sure if I want to take another anti depressant. I am nowhere near as bad as I was I just have fluctuating mooRAB. My increased dose of subutex to 6mgs is working well. I have had a few moments where I just wanted to throw it all in but I have pushed through and keep reminding myself of how far I have come. I really hope you are doing much better and getting a chance to ride? Its been wet wet wet here so not alot of riding happening. Are you still taking the subs? Oh forgot to mention my news that my son informed me he is getting married next year. This is amazing for a young man who only 12 months ago was so very ill with Bi-Polar and drug addiction. I am so proud of him. Take care and talk soon
Kim
 
Heh Kew, good god almighty isn`t technology bloody amazing pardon my language thanks for the reply, i`m much the same as yersel have to be doing something all the time if i`ve nothing planned i`ll bang on some tunes on my wee stereo in my flat and begin cleaning just to keep myself busy, whether this is me avoiding my emotions, possibly, i have a very real problem with my emotions, not having too many but actually identifying them. I was brought up being taught by my father not to show emotions as they could be seen as a sign of weakness, hense i took drugs to surpress them because i believed for many years they were wrong, how wrong was i to believe that, never mind thats all in the past it`s now that i`ve to deal with it. Find myself becoming emotional towarRAB thing i probably should`nt and searching myself for emotions when i feel i should be getting some. Upside down and the wrong way round like out of control rollercoaster sometimes.
"Somewhere over that rainbow skies are blue" even if sometimes you can`t see it. I try to remeraber that no matter what the weathers like outside it could be raining, snowing, it can even be night time, the sun is always up there shining bright.:cool:Take care. Iain.
 
Hi Kew
Thanks for that. I needed to hear the facts from someone who knows. I'm just tired, deep down I know beyond a doubt that if I were to stop taking the sub now I would relapse. I find myself still wanting to get high even now. Its not cravings but just wanting to use the old familiar tools of running from things instead of facing them. I am really disappointed that I have had to call off our bike ride south because of the restrictions on my dosing. Every state here has a different ruling on it and I was crossing four states it just became too difficult to organise. We will ride some of the way and fly the rest so I can fit in my dosing schedules. I started questioning whether I needed to be on this program and whether I could do it myself control my addiction that is. A close friend reminded me last night of what I was like three months ago when she had to forceably take my keys when I went to drive under the influence. I was so out of it I dont even remeraber it happening. I could have driven and killed someone. Then she reminded me of a few other things that really bought it home. I will keep pushing through and take your advice to stop self diagnosing myself and go see my doctor for some advice on how to manage the side effects and maybe change the anti depressant I am on?;)
ILB
 
Hi Guys
Lifes been a bit tough this week. I know we all do it drop our bundle at times especially when things are a struggle. Why is it that people like is seem to have to struggle so much? Hi Ian my husband and I ride motor bikes and I play basketball he refs basketball. Still we find it hard to find time between work and recovery and just life. Ian you are so right about the marathon. I am inclined to try and race to the finish line as quickly as I can and along the way I get lost and sturable over the obstacles I didnt see coming. This week has been a big obstacle to my recovery. I have been challenged on all levels and am happy to say I am still on the program and still hanging in there. Kew you sound so like me in your thinking. I bet it gets so loud in your head sometimes you cannot hear yourself think? I get overwhelmed sometimes by all the noise in my head and the pictures that constantly play. If I allow them to get the better of me I sink into depression and then start thinking about self harm stuff. But like I said before you just have to ride the wave and it does eventually get better. When things get too much I think of my frienRAB on the other side ofthe world and it lifts my spirits to know that I am not alone. Thanks
ILB
 
ILB,
Sorry to hear you are canceling your bike trip. That has got to be disappointing....but I think you are being smart and taking care of yourself. There will be other bike trips and other travel opportunities. Right now you have to make your recovery #1 in your life. I don't mean to sound "preachy" I guess I'm just reinforcing that to myself that if I don't make recovery my #1 goal & priority I'll be back in a very dangerous place and fast. Each time I've gotten clean, I've lucked out and been able to keep my job, family, house, etc. One of these times, if I relapse, I know without a doubt, I will lose the things and people most dear to me and I can not and will not take that chance. I just have to think through what would happen if I took that first pill, just that one...and I'm off and running down the road to destruction. Stay strong & keep up the good work, ILB!!

KEW
 
If i were you Karen and i tried something to get some peace and some sort`ve balance in your life and it did`nt work for whatever reason, i`d dust myself down pick myself up and try something else, maybe just now you should set you sights on just hanging in there, but long term you may need to get permanent things going on in your life to motivate the positive side of your personality, this may not be practical for you at the moment but you could try doing one or two things through the week that YOU enjoy doing, something that takes you away from the usual tasks of your daily routine, try doing that also try taking half an hour every day for yourself, time to relax, chill out, take a break, i do both these when i can and it works, and if i find that a few weeks have gone by and i`ve not done any of these then i make it a priority to take a break, because stress and depression is a ruff old road to be travelling down every single day.
Keep your chin pointing up because if look really hard you`ll see that you are worth it, i don`t really know you and i can tell by our cyber conversations that your a goodhearted kind person you just need to direct some of that love onto yourself, have a we bit of faith in yourself.:bouncing:
 
Heh Karen it`s only me Iain yer wee friend fae the other side of the planet am really sorry i`ve nae been in touch lately had a crazy amount of work for college lately sociology assessment. stress management essays and i`ve another assessment for values and principles in care coming up so i`ve been a busy little study bee don`t want to fail for not studying enough, so instead i study addictively and sometimes forget to stop, but it means that much to me to have some sort of realistic future to look forward to. Hows life been treating you?
 
Hi Kew
Into week three and cannot believe the difference between those two meRAB. The subutex for me does still make me a little out of it for about an hour. Other than that it is way better. The problem with subutex here is the conditions around its distribution are much stricter due to the possibility for abuse. It gets me angry that people abuse things like this cause it makes it hard for those of us who really do want to kick addiction. I am suppose to go 12 months of daily dosing before being allowed to take doses away. I know they can work outside the guidelines as they have given me a couple of take away doses due to work commitments. I really want to stay with the program but they make it so hard. I am on 6mgs which is enough for me to stop the cravings and allow me to work on the thought patterns. I am still trying to get off the anti depressant I am on as it clashes with the sub causing extra drowsiness. Had to take it back up this week after experiencing some nasty withdrawal effects of it. Guess I have been on it for 15 years so will take a little while to get off it. They would like me to be on at least 8mgs of sub but until I can get off the dothep it has to stay down. Man I never want to go through this again. My husband and I were planning a trip to the Moto GP Phillip Island Australia in October. Because of the dosing restrictions which get worse from one state to the next it looks like we wil be flying not riding. I was tempted to tell them to stick their program but then thought about the consequences of that an decided I just hav to get through this challenge. Here the only doctors that can prescribe the subutex are ones registered to distribute under the opiate substitution program and each state has its own regulations. So for me to travel interstate I have to re register in each state I go to so I can be given the dose. It really is restrictive. If they want people to stick to this program they need to get it together and treat people as individuals and not put us all in the same box being "Addicts." Because I have a past history of IV drug use they are even stricter even though I have not injected in over 6 years. Frustrating to say the least. However it beats spending every day looking for the next fix and having your whole life rotating around that next fix. I have made it nearly three months and I just have to change the way I think about the restrictions. Right now I am placing the concerns about getting off the subutex as a low priority and will face that challenge when the time is right. Staying in recovery is th focus right now.
Take care
ILB:wave:
 
ilovebikes07;

You found yourself thinking way ahead and pondering on what MIGHT happen SHOULD your marriage fail, i can`t help you with that one unfortunatly only you know your husband all i can quote is something you wrote yourself that is "why waste time thinking what MIGHT happen".
I really should`nt comment but it`s concerning me that you`ve got enough on your plate with the task of getting better extra worry and stress only makes the ice below your feet thinner.
This is only my opinion but the very worst thing that could happen would be for you to go backwarRAB with regarRAB to your recovery much much worse than any marriage split, and i know it`s dead easy for me to sit here and say this and say that, but lets be honest death is never far away so why walk towarRAB him that may sound abit mellodramatic but it`s the reality of the condition we are all battling.
Why not wait and see what does happen cause in actual fact your husband will probably stand by your side, i don`t know.
Heard another great wee saying last night, "WHEN WE ASK GOD TO GIVE US COURAGE, DO YOU THINK HE JUST GIVE`S US COURAGE, MAYBE HE GIVE`S US THE OPPERTUNITY TO BE COURAGOUS"
Your new lunatic friend fae Scotland will always be here should you need to talk not quit sure what good i`d be but it`s always good to know someone is more than willing to read your message`s.
Why not try talking to your husband and find out where his heaRAB at he`s maybe worrying about the exact same thing as you that would be ironic, ye`ve maybe already done this.
Anyway am off college starts a week today monday the 30th aug dead nervous gonna be stuck in a classroom with a heap of school leavers me being the old guy at 34 yesterday.
Take care. one more thing thats some cracking advise you gave to Kew and your right how can we be weak? Many people in todays society would label us weak,worthless, and a scurge on society, all things i`ve been called amonst others throughout my life, this implies that these people consider their society as too good for the likes of us.
Well i`ve got a news flash for them the problem we are all dealing with was and still is in my opinion created by the society that has a habit of turning it`s back on people in need whether it`s in addiction or whatever.
Am really gonna stop now went away off on one there and got abit carried away, it concerns me all this stuff, the size of the problem, the affect on future generations.Thats me was away to start again.
You take care iLOVEBIKES
 
hey yall i am new to this board and am not even sure if i am posting correctly. I am coming off oxycodone slowly and reading up on lots of things for moral support. I honestly think that the pill addiction is just as bad as the pain it was prescribed for.
 
Heh Kim it`s only yer wee friend fae across the other side of the globe, am really sorry i`ve nae been in touch lately been crazy busy at college what with sociology assessments, essays for stress management, and i`ve another assessment coming up for values and principles in care, so my wee brains gonna be working overtime for the next week or so, but it`s all good, it`s just a stuggle trying to fit it all in, all the studying, seeing frienRAB, writing to frienRAB across the planet, it always sounRAB cool i think when i say that FRIENRAB ACROSS THE GLOBE makes the place sound so BIG yet so small at the same time. Anyway am starting to babble on a bit. How`s life been treating you more importantely? I hope you`ve been well, will talk again soon. Take Care. Iain.
 
Hi Kew
Wow time flys. I am doing really well most of the time. I so hear you when you talk about the tapes that play in our heaRAB. It seems I spend the majority of my days trying to wipe and re record those tapes. I also often feel like I must be a "Bad Person" or a lesser person than someone who does not have an addiction issue. If you tell people that you are on an Opiate Substitution Program they sometimes look at you like you are deseased or weak and to be pitied. The ones that have had the most powerful influence in our lives who are more often than not our parents have certainly left their mark on those recordings in our head. I have spent a lot of time and effort trying to make changes to the wrong messages that I sent my kiRAB. They are both beautiful young people but they bare the scars of my addiction and mental illness. One has Bi-Polar and the other a garabling addiction. I nearly lost my son who has diagnosed Bi-Polar disorder to drugs last year. It was the hardenst thing I have ever done to watch his torment and self distruction. Thank God he has come through it and is doing really well. I have a friend who this week lost her son to possible drug OD. He was only 17 I count my blessing everyday that both my kiRAB are starting to put their own lives back together and that I am now in a place (thanks to meRAB) and good therapy to be able to assit in their recovery and help make amenRAB for the damage I caused in their lives. I dont beat myself up anymore no point but I am actively righting the wrongs and speaking good things into their lives like "you are beautiful, and I am so proud of you, you can achieve whatever you desire etc." Not like the tapes I have playing in my head that say the opposite. I think recovery is about finding what is right for you. If its group therapy then go for it. I have found that chatting on this site has been group therapy for me. It has helped me really understand that I am not alone in this and that there are heaps of GOOD people out there sharing similiar experiences and fighting the same battle against addiction. The mind is a powerful tool. We have to master control of it to stay in recovery. I struggle with a personality disorder born out of abuse. My mind tries to dominate me every second of every day. But I am winning the battle slowly but surely and with each battle won comes another victory towarRAB freedom. You too should be very proud of yourself! Your worRAB and support have helped me more than you could imagine. Take care and ride safe:)
 
Hi Karen and Iain
SounRAB like you both doing pretty good. Karen what Iain says is sooo true. Its our heaRAB that do us in everytime if we let it. How I deal with a borderline personality disorder which is all kinRAB of stuffed up thoughts etc in my head telling me what to do I am learning that the only way I can stay in control is to not let my mind get the better of me I choose to stay in control and change my thinking. Not easy but can be done. The battlefield is definetly in the mind.:dizzy: CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is very effective for this.
I have two dogs a 60kg Ridgeback 3 yr old and an American Staffy 12 mths old. I also have three cats two of which are siamese the remenents of my teenage daughter who no longer lives at home. I love them all to pieces they are great therapy. Especially the dogs who just love you unconditionally no matter what. Sometimes when I am struggling to stay in touch with reality one of them will come up to me and just sit with me like they know I need a hand right then. Its pretty awesome. I want to be honest with you guys and make myself accountable, the past few weeks I have not been completely clean. No opiates but been smoking:cool: I find it helps calm my thoughts down and it also helps me not to disassociate whcih is part of my personality disorder. My friend says that she is seeing the same old addictive patterns returning,and that I am just running again, I know she is probably right but I recon it cant really hurt can it? Need some feedback from you. I never had a big issue with it in the past Opiates and benzos always been my first choice. Would really appreciate your thoughts.
Tks
Kim
ILB
 
You started this post 2 years ago? Is that correct? So you have been doing well on Subox and now you are trying to wean off? That is great.
Its so mind blowing to me that the younger generation...the kiRAB that are my kiRAB age 21-25 are more likely to be doing drugs than not doing drugs. I asked my son 21 today...if he knew ANYONE that was not doing drugs....he paused for a few moments...and the answer is NO....Very sad. When I was a kid...there were a handful of kiRAB that experimented with drugs and alcohol...but the majority of kiRAB did not. The ones that did the drugs and alcohol were the "bad" kiRAB. Now, it is just normal to do all kinRAB of drugs...So sad. Hope your life is getting better.
 
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