CALLING ALL POETS! How's my poem?

[Mrs. Edward Cullen]

Ok so I need help with my poem. I made this for my friend a pretty long time ago and I need you to edit it for me please! Whats would you change? Please rate it from 1-10 (hopefully higher??) And should I change the title? And if so, then to what?

A Broken Heart
Pieces shattered like broken glass
Followed by a single tear
How could her future be so foggy
When it used to be so clear
She put all the faith she had in him
But the pain hidden inside, left unspoken
She gave him all of her fragile heart
But he gave it right back to her broken
The pain that she felt was unbearable
But somehow her life still went on
Sometimes she wished he'd come back to her
But inside she knew he was gone
Love no longer had meaning to her
Faith and hope were no longer real
He cut her deep, inside the soul
And the wound he made (will/would???) never heal
So she laid in the grass and looked up at the sky
And prayed to the heavens above
That someday it would come back to her
The thing that some people call LOVE
Sorry if its confusing and it says pain HIDDEN not LEFT and its refering to how she wasn't sure she loved him but she still gave him everything (her heart) and he broke it

 

[Rainn]

I give it a ........ 7.5. Use will, not would. Otherwise you have to put the rest of the poem into past tense. Actually you need to work on that too. You switch back and forth between present and past... have only one set tense. And what's that line 'But the pain left inside, left unspoken'. What does it refer to?? Pain before the break-up?? or after? and get rid of little words like in 'The pain that she felt was unbearable' line, get rid of 'that' and in the next line, get rid of 'still'. It'll help flow. I stumbled over those lines when I read it aloud. Otherwise it's good.