Bride and Groom from different states!?

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rubberduck57

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Hello all. I am planning my wedding. I am from New Jersey and my fiance's family is from Minnesota. He has more family than I do and most of his friend's are going to be in the wedding party. It makes sense to have the wedding in Minnesota, but what about my family members? Not all of them can fly out for the wedding I'm sure. Should I have a big wedding in Minnesota with my close family members and my fiance's family with a reception, then have another reception back in New Jersey for my family?

What would you recommend? I just wanna hear some ideas from other people because I know I will have to make up my own mind, but other people's insight will definitely help!
 
You can call it what you want, but a "Reception" is just that, a receiving of the guests right after the ceremony. Anything else is a party. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with a party, just don't call it a second reception, because it isn't.

Life is about choices, some good, some bad, some neutral. Once we make a choice we must endure and adapt to all the repercussions of that choice.

Having a wedding and reception in Minnesota is fine, if that is what you want. Anyone who can't afford to come is just something you will have to live with. If you want to hold a party in Jersey for your family and friends to meet your new husband, then by all means, do so. Just don't saddle your parents with the tab for it, that is just selfish.

How about an engagement party beforehand?
 
You should have it where ever you want. My Husband is from NJ and I'm from FL but we both live in FL. We had the wedding in FL and the family that could come came.. if they cannot make it then I wouldn't worry. To have to plan two receptions would be horrible, plus expensive.
 
I understand your dilemma. My boyfriend and I are from different states and we have discussed how we would handle this same exact dilemma. But for us it is a little easier since he is from the state where I went to college, so a lot of my friends live there that I want in my wedding party, so we would most likely have it in his state, even though we both live in mine now. He is fromFL though so who wouldn't want to go to FL??

I suggest just trying to figure out what is easier for the 2 of you, not necessarily your guests. Those who truly want to be there will most likely make it happen and I am sure you will understand if there are those who just can not make it.

Another idea could be to have a destination wedding. Maybe in FL on the beach or something. That way there will still be those people who can't make it, but it is a compromise.

The idea of a wedding and 2 receptions that you stated above also seems pretty logical. I would just make sure to send invites to those in NJ so they will know you want them to be there, then, if you come to find the majority of them don't RSVP or can't make it, you can plan a small reception in NJ for the ones who want to be there but couldn't make it.
 
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