Breastfeeding mothers, do you secretly judge bottlefeeding moms?

L

Libby R

New member
Bottlefeeding moms, do you sometimes feel as though you're being judged?
Hey don't forget to star if you find this interesting
See that's what I'm talking about, the bottlefeeding moms have to explain themselves and tell thier sad stories while breastfeeding moms don't. Though all the bottlefeeding moms tried to Breastfeed which isn't what the breastfeeding moms are disgusted with. This is very interesting thank you all for being so honest.. It'll be hard to choose a best answer as this is really just about interesting dialogue.
Katelyn's mom, tell them that the AAP says to breastfeed for at least a year and WHO at least two. Study after study is coming out showing the increased benefits of longer breastfeeding. They're getting thier advice from the seventies
 
No. Not every woman can breastfeed. I know I'll get thumbs down for saying that - but it's true. My brother's wife couldn't produce milk. At all.

I think women who can breastfeed should, but it isn't my place to judge.
 
I try not to, but sometimes it's difficult. I still remember sitting in a toddler group meeting where a bunch of bottlefeeding mums were discussing how revolting the idea of using donated breastmilk was and how they couldn't understand how anyone would do _that_ rather than go onto formula.

As a mum who used DBM while my milk came in when my son's bloodsugar was dangerously low, I thought that was far and away more judgemental than anything I've ever seen a breastfeeding mum say to a bottlefeeding mum.
 
I secretly judged women who didn't breastfeed before I had my son and breastfeeding got all messed up and I gave up. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
 
i know i was judged b/c people made comments to my face. i was also one of those people who wanted to breastfeed, couldn't, cried my eyes out about it, and really didn't need any criticism from anybody.

however, as i think this question reflects, those who are judgmental about it are in the minority and there will be people like that on any issue. no longer hormonal, i'm able to raise an eyebrow at people like that and move on.
 
I have to add my two cents.

I planned to breast feed.
My daughter was premature, and could not develop adequate sucking, no matter how much I pumped. The La Leche people said she would grow into it, but I was only producing a few spoonfuls of milk a day---not enough for an infant. She was in danger of dehydrating, so I finally switched to the bottle.

So before you "judge"...for some it just doesn't work.


And for the thumbs down people...you amaze me with your ignorance. My daughter grew up bright, happy, and healthy. If you believe in it, fine. God bless. But not everyone CAN nurse...and you must have really small lives if you can't accept anything but your own opinions.
 
Well if I am being %100 honest, Yes, sometimes I do. I think everyone should give breast feeding a honest try before giving up. But I also think that it should be a priority in the hospital. Everyone should be able to have a lactation specialist visit them and explain how it work. A lot of women sabotage their breast feeding and don't even know it. So I can't sit back and think I am all high and mighty because I breast feed because a lot of women give it there best shot but unfortunately it doesn't always work for them when formula feeding is so ready available for them.

I find that I judge people more on whether or not they are a good mom who truly care about their child. Because really that is what is going to make the most difference. Yes breast is best, but being a good mom to your child is even better.

Edit: To be on the other end of it, I feel as if I am being judge because I still am breast feeding my 12 months old. I get asked all the time "Oh my god, you are STILL breast feeding". As if I am doing something wrong. Everyone gets judged, I just try not to let that get in the way of truly seeing who people really are and hearing them out before I do judge.
 
Breast is best. If a woman can't breastfeed then she can hire a wet nurse.
I hate women who don't breastfeed for selfish reasons. Get a lactation specialist if you can't breastfeed. Breastfeeding lowers the mom's risk of getting breast cancer and ovarian cancer later in life. It builds up protection on child's immune system. It makes child smarter. It is good for both mommy and baby. It makes child less susceptible to disease/illness.
 
I was both, so nope. My first born son was born 6 weeks premature and was in an incubator for nearly two weeks. Between the uncertainty of what was going to happen and my foolish youth, I did not pump so well, and in the end, he was a formula baby. My others were nursed.
 
I know it's wrong and everyone has a right to make there own decision on that, but I do judge them. I have a friend who bottle feeds and I would never say anything negative to her about it. Some women try, but can't breast feed and that is different. When it is for, what I presume to be, selfish reasons that is when I judge. Reasons like, I want a life, I think it's wired, I feel like a cow, I can't drink every weekend. I think that is selfish and being a mom is a thankless sacrifice so deal with it. I really don't feel that strongly about other people, but I do feel like I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to give my baby the best no matter what.
 
When I was pregnant with baby no1 I attended an antenatal class in which we were told that there was no such thing as a woman who can't breast feed and that formula was one of the worst things ever invented,after hearing this and reading up on the subject I decided that my baby was going to be breast fed for 2 years; I also became very judgmental every time I saw a woman bottle feeding,I decided that they either hadn't bothered to try to breast feed or had given up at the first problem.
Anyway I had my baby and lo and behold I didn't manage with breast feeding; I had lots of help but my baby kept losing weight and started to dehydrate and even the breast feeding counselor who spoke at the ante natal class I mentioned had to admit that I needed to give bottles.
Also (sorry this is so long) I was definitely judged;I recall a lady asking me if I was breast feeding and when I said no and told her what happened she told me that I hadn't tried hard enough,that was really hurtful and there were other comments too.
It has to be remembered that being a mother goes far beyond the breast or formula debate.
 
no. nurses almost sabotaged my breast feeding efforts. they kept giving him bottles. then i wouldn't produce enough so i had to supplement. then when he was 3.5 months old i had to stop all together because he started getting seizures (and teeth yikes!) and there were just to many complications

i know a lot of obstacles can come up. though i do kind of wonder why some women don't even try... i just don't understand why would would not want to at least try to give your kids that first few weeks of breastmilk. if you can;t thats another story! its just when they choose not to.
 
No who am I to tell someone what to do with their breasts? But I very openly judge people who frown on breastfeeding in public!
 
no. nurses almost sabotaged my breast feeding efforts. they kept giving him bottles. then i wouldn't produce enough so i had to supplement. then when he was 3.5 months old i had to stop all together because he started getting seizures (and teeth yikes!) and there were just to many complications

i know a lot of obstacles can come up. though i do kind of wonder why some women don't even try... i just don't understand why would would not want to at least try to give your kids that first few weeks of breastmilk. if you can;t thats another story! its just when they choose not to.
 
no. nurses almost sabotaged my breast feeding efforts. they kept giving him bottles. then i wouldn't produce enough so i had to supplement. then when he was 3.5 months old i had to stop all together because he started getting seizures (and teeth yikes!) and there were just to many complications

i know a lot of obstacles can come up. though i do kind of wonder why some women don't even try... i just don't understand why would would not want to at least try to give your kids that first few weeks of breastmilk. if you can;t thats another story! its just when they choose not to.
 
If they are able to breast feed and choose not to I feel they are being selfish..
 
Just saw the question, so I hope it's not too late to put in my 2 cents.

I certainly try to not judge anyone ... though I do often wonder why so many women DON'T breastfeed, knowing the benefits, and knowing that it's free. Why spend a ton of money for a second-rate product?

But I'm more judgemental of our society, and of doctors who don't bother to educate THEMselves, and who assure women who don't want to breastfeed that "Whatever you choose is fine" and assure women who are having problems that "You gave it a good try ... breastfeeding isn't for everyone ... here's some formula samples," or worst, give harmful advice that CAUSE women to 'fail' at nursing.

It's quite ironic that in our society, with people, in general, healthier and better nourished and with more leisure time than at almost any time/place in history, women 'fail' at breastfeeding in droves ("baby wouldn't latch" ... "my milk never came in" "I had to supplement because my 2 day old was starving" ... while a couple of centuries ago (and even today in much of world) the vast majority of women succeed.

Yes, I know that a tiny percentage of women truly CAN'T breastfeed for a variety of reasons ... but most women who 'fail' are not in that tiny percent -- they 'fail' due to bad advice or lack of support or lack of education ... or lack of motivation to succeed.
 
Back
Top