Blonde Jokes to Share?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ☺Jordo☺
  • Start date Start date
☺

☺Jordo☺

Guest
Heres a couple of blonde jokes...
Q. How do you drown a blonde?

A. Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.

So there was this blonde in a rowing boat in the middle of a field, she was sitting there, in her boat, rowing, on the grass, no rivers for miles.
Then another blonde was driving by, pulled over, hopped out of her car and screamed out "It's blondes like you who give us the bad reputation, if I could swim out there I would kick your butt!!".

A blonde once heard about the bad reputation, so dyed her hair brown.
Then she was driving past a farm and spotted a farmer counting his sheep, she pulled over and asked "If I can guess how many sheep are in this field, can I have one?". He accepted, thinking she would never guess...
"151" she said, to the farmers suprise, she was right.
So she went and picked one out... then just as she was heading back toward her car, the farmer asked "If I can guess what colour your hair really is will you give me back my dog?".


There were three women, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
There was a mystical mirror said to suck in anyone who lied, so they went to test it.
The brunette went first, "I think..... I'm the prettiest girl in the world", she got sucked in.
The redhead went next, "I think..... I have the best hair in the universe!", she got sucked in.
The blonde went last, "I think...." and she got sucked in.

There were three women, two brunettes and one blonde, they had to throw their most beloved thing off a bridge and into a river. So the first brunette took off her jewelry and chucked it all in.
The next brunette took off her clothes and chucked them in.
The blonde said "Somebody pick me up and throw me off the edge"....

Feel free to share other blonde jokes :D
 
1. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

2. A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


3. A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

4. A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellooooooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

5. A blond woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car andcwas pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blond.
The blond cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. Here it is," she said. The blond officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

6. One blonde was trying to jimmie her car lock while her blonde girl friend was inside saying: "...a bit to the left..."

7. Blonde following a truck for 5 blocks honking and yelling to the truck driver in a snowy day that he was losing his load...Finally the truck driver pulled over and said: "Lady, I am salting the road..."

8. Two blondes were looking up at the clear night sky while visiting New York City.
One said thoughtfully to the other, "Which do you think is closer, the Moon or Florida?"
The other replied, "Duh, you can't see Florida."

9. A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

10. Blonde said "I can see Russia from my house!"
 
How do you confuse a blonde?
Go into a circular room and ask them to sit them to sit in the corner.

How does the blonde comfuse you?
By coming back to you and say she has done it.

***

A blonde overhears a discussion with some men discussing how stupid blondes are. Ready to crack, she haughtily stands up and says "Not all blondes are stupid, and to prove it I will learn and recite all of the capital of American states!" She turns around and walks away.

the next day the woman asks them to ask her some capitals of American states. One man asks her smugly: "Alright then, whats the capital of Arizona?"
The woman replied also smugly: "A"

***
 
Back
Top