Blonde joke

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Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?



A. Run! She's got a grenade in her mouth.



Da da da dada DA! (drum roll etc...)
 
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she
decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to
paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her
husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the
floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy
parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks
her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she
replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women
are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She
replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it
said . . .




You'll love this . .








Yep. I know you will . .









"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS"
 
lol good one, here are a few more

what does a blonde when she wakes up?
she goes home
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Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
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Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
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Why did God create blondes?
Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Why did God create brunettes?
Neither could the blondes.
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Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
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How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
Lipstick on the cucumbers!
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What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
The Blonde!
or
The other guys waiting their turn.
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What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
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Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So brunettes can remember them
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A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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Why should you never let a blonde take a coffee break?
It's too hard to re-train them.
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Whats the same about a blonde and an airbag ?

They both have the same brain size...
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WHat does a blonde write(fill in) in her resume which said "salary expected ________"

"yes"
 
haha, i like the paint one...

how do you drown a blonde? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

a blonde was going to disneyland and saw a sign "Disneyland Left"
so she sighed and went home

how do you punish a blonde? put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
 
Sort of a blond joke since barbie is blond

A man walks into a toy store looking for a Barbie for his daughter's Birthday,
He asks the sales assistant what Barbie packs they have availible,
She says that they have three barbie packs;

"First there is 'Marry me' Barbie" says the assistant,
This is $19.99,
this includes Barbie and a wedding dress,

"Next there is 'Princess Barbie'" says the assistant,
This is $24.99,
this includes Barbie dressed as a princess with a crown,

"Last of all there is 'Divorced Barbie'" replies the assistant,
This is $199.99,

"WHAT?!? Why is it that expensive?" asks the man,

"Well" says the sales assistant,
"Divorced Barbie includes Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat..."
found on http://com4.runboard.com/bsmackdown5herecomesthepain.fthefunnyfarm.t42
 
How do you keep a blonde busy for months?

Give her a bag of M&M's, and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
 
Blonde jokes are hilarious! Here's one:

A blonde walks into a curtain store. She approaches the clerk and asked if he has any curtains the size of a computer screen. Perplexed, the clerk asks: "Why would you need a curtain the size of a computer monitor."

Annoyed, the blonde replies: "Helllllooooo, I have Windows!"
 
Why did the blond lose her job at the M&M factory?

Cuz they told her to throw away all the "W"s she found.
 
Did you hear about the blond who tried to send Spam from her computer?

It probably would have rotted if she had oppened the can.
 
What goes "Vroom, screech, vroom, screech"?

A blonde driving through a flashing red light.
 
Hey, I didn't know any blonde jokes, but now, thanks to you guys, I know a lot of them! keep up the good work!
 
guy give blonde $50 to paint his front porch white,blonde arrives back after 5 mins,

guy: 'geez swee'art that was fast'
blonde: 'thanks, oh and btw, its a ferrari, not a porsche'
 
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to send Spam from her computer?

She couldn't figure out how to get the can into the screen.
 
A blonde was pulled over by a cop one day.

The cop, who was also a blonde, walked up to her window and said, "Can I see your drivers license please?"

"Okay," the blonde replied. She looked through her purse and couldn't find it, so she checked the glove compartment of her car and still couldn't find it.

She asked the cop, "I can't seem to find it, can you tell me what it looks like?"

The cop answered, "Well it's square-shaped and it has your picture on it."

"Oh," said the blonde, so she checked through her purse again.

She pulled out her small, square-shaped compact and opened it. She looked into the mirror and saw her face. "Oh, here it is." She said as she handed the mirror to the cop.

The cop looked at the mirror, sighed, and looked back at the blonde and said,

"No, stupid, this is MY license."
 
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