Big Changes

H

Hannabug

New member
Hellow fellows,

Well as I posted a while back about money and gf problems... http://forums.wtf.com/showthread.php/70289-Totally-WTF...-Sad-Face!!! she did end up quitting the job and never found a new one. So at the end of April we are out of this apt! I am moving in with my mom and uncle in Northern California. She is moving in with her parents in SoCal.

We weighed out the pros and cons of many different scenarios and found that the only reason to stay together would be for each other... while the arguments for moving in with parents are numerous.

Keeping in mind that (x2) = benefit to both of us, this is how it looked

Stay together (x2)

vs

Go to school (x2(
Pay off Debts (x2)
Save money (x2)
Get reliable car (x2)
Work less

We knew that the only way to achieve that in our situation would be to rent a room together (super unlikely for a room to get rented to a couple), get financial aid (a whole different slew of obstacles), and even then still our lifestyle would be scraping month to month and falling behind like we are now, unless we got some awesome jobs (waaaaaay too unlikely). So, we made the decision to bow out. We can afford one more month.

I have a lot of challenges and issues ahead... the most scary of which would be leaving my girlfriend. I've never been close to a person like this... never trusted so much. I am not going to get all romeo and juliet about it but I love her and I can think of almost nothing that would hurt more. But it's just self destructive for both of us to remain in this situation. If it were just me fine... but she really isn't happy living this lifestyle at the age of 20 and I guess that's what really seals the deal for me. If maintaining the lifestyle stresses her to the point that she's completely miserable, it's time to let it go.

So here's the big challenge:

Like 2-3 weeks ago, I had some old library books go to collections :rolleyes: So my credit cards went into full lockdown. I have like $550 of available credit (which isn't bad, but I had multiple thousands of leverage before), but I need to pay a ticket by April 4 or my license gets suspended. And if my license is suspended I can't rent a u-haul to move up there with... so yeah, still some things up in the air. I need to figure out how to get more leverage on my CCs to make this work.

Anyways that's it for right now at least. I hope everyone is well. Once I live with my Mom again I'll have more time to be an internet nerd and come visit.
 
I'm sorry it didn't work out but I'm going to commend you on making a very mature, responsible choice. I can tell by your post you have thought this through and even though it will be hard emotionally, you still strive to do what you know is the best choice.

Huge kudos, Icarus. I do wish you both well.
 
Have you two explored possibly renting a room from a friend or relative? Surely there are other people in your situation and together you can alleviate each others problems.

I just wouldn't end it unless it was the last possible resort.
 
Unfortunately neither of us have a friend in the position to rent us a room... nor relatives.

We need a very specific environment to succeed, and it's just not available to us at this point in time. Otherwise, while we may be able to stick together indefinitely, we'll only be falling further and further behind.
 
Well, what about the possibility of moving out of state? I realize how retarded that may sound... but perhaps if you two were able to save enough money between the two of you... you could move to a state that has a lower cost of living and an educational program that gives you what you need.

Also... you could explore government housing or grants and things that may help to alleviate the situation.

If the two of you are in school... or are going to attend school... I would talk to the financial counselor to see if there are any programs available.

Maybe these links will get your mind cranking out solutions.

http://www.campusrent.com/

http://www.collegescholarships.org/grants/housing.htm

http://www.ehow.com/how_15576_federal-housing-grants.html

http://www.mygrants.us/
 
Where in Nor Cal? hehe. I could help you move some small stuff, but I hurt my legs trying to lift a 250 lb senseless man into a bed repeatedly. Maybe in a week or so.
 
Apparently you people actually care about me... :D So here's an update.

I live in NorCal with my Mom and Uncle now. My sister and her boyfriend live like 15-20 minutes away, my closest non-family friends are about an hour away. I am not smoking pot (or at least haven't for a while) and smoke cigs rarely now. I still don't have a job, whoohoo. I should probably apply for admissions and jobs at colleges and businesses, respectively.

Nice things about living with my momma:
FREE FOOD!!!!! mostly. I still need to help out with groceries and stuff but jesus christ it's like I'm not eating myself out of my goddamn house. Maybe I can gain enough weight to actually register on the BMI scale.
Only responsible for keeping 1 room clean (and of course helping out with the other rooms)
Many many opportunities I didn't have before

I miss the GF... madly so. But it can't be helped. We just need to visit each other as often as we can.
 
Glad things are going well (even if they're maybe not ideal). Sorry to hear you're separated from your girl though.

Glad you'll be putting some weight back on. Sorry to hear your friends are so far away.

Glad you're back on the site. Sorry Sampson bit your nose.

Good to see you, Icarus. :D
 
Thanks for the well wishes. Yes things are in flux right now with some points of my life looking brighter and more promising than ever, and some points frustrating me for the same old reasons, or even new ones.

It's funny, the things that frustrate me most are the (sometimes small, sometimes large) aspects of my personality or habits that are the same old reasons.

It's like, jesus christ it's 2010, can't I be perfect yet?

:D
 
Good to see you, and glad to see that things are looking a bit better.

Long distance relationships are hard, but if you're willing to stick it out (both of you) it'll pay off in the long run.
 
I guess at the age of 20 it's too early to start fighting that hard. You really better let her go if she does not enjoy that way of living. 20 years, she gotta see many things and not just surviving. Let her go, that is hard decision, but You will avoid GREAT problems in the future.
 
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