Best Little Johnny Joke?

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.
 
little johnny was in his third grade class when his teacher said we are gonna play a game. " close your eyes and open your mouth and i will put a piece of candy in your mouth, then you have to tell me what you think it is." " OK" replied the class. the teacher goes to the first student and sticks a piece of candy in it. "Butterscotch!" said the girl. " correct" replied the teacher. she goes to the next student and he shouts " peppermint! ". "Correct" said the teacher. she goes to the next student and puts a piece of honey candy in her mouth. " i don't know, i don't know! " said the girl. " i will give you a hint, it is what your mom calls your dad when he gets home from work" explained the teacher. Littler johnny jumped up and yelled " Spit it out, Spit it out, it is an a**hole!!! "
 
well, the best one i've heard goes something like this:
teacher gives students an assignment. they have to tell one of the "interesting" things. the next day the teacher calls on little johny for his turn.
then little johny (not so little) just takes the chalk and makes a dot on the board. then he keeps silent.
the teacher then asks johny "well...what is it?" johny replies "it's a period"
the teacher says "yes...i can see that as well. but, what's so interesting about a 'period' "?

then johny goes (the punch line)
"i'd be darned if i knew the answer. but today my sister said she was missing one....my father had a heart attack...and the guy-next-door shot himself"

p.s. took me long to figure what the joke meant...then i finally figured it out that "period" is another word for "dot" ^_^
 
Back
Top