Best Liberal jokes??????

I got a tattoo of a Liberal on my right arm, 15 minutes later it stopped working.


Question: What is the difference between Carville and a catfish?
Answer: One’s a scum sucking bottom dweller and ones a fish.

Question: What’s the difference between Carville and a bald monkey?
Answer: A sports jacket.

Question: If you were in a room with Hitler, Mussolini and Carville and you only had two bullets what should you do?
Answer: Shoot Carville twice.

Question: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and Carville?
Answer: One has a Radio Show and is the most listened to in America and the other is a loud mouth bald liberal looser.

Question: Why can’t liberals find facts?
Answer: They aren’t looking for any.

Question: How do liberals brain cells die?
Answer: Lonely.

Question: How do you confuse a liberal?
Answer: You don’t, they are born that way

Question: If Hillary, Bill and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
Answer: We do.

Question: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
Answer: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.

Question: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
Answer: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile

Question: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
Answer: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.

Question: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
Answer: A liberal who can count all 50 states.

Question: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
Answer: A whinny Liberal.

Question: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
Answer: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.

Question: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.

Question: How much does a Liberal cost?
Answer: Nothing, Liberals have no values.

Question: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
Answer: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”

Question: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
Answer: The Communist admit it.

Question: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
Answer: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.

Question: Why do Liberals lie?
Answer: It comes natural

Question: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
Answer: Envy.

Question: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
Answer: Tie Bill Clinton’s picture to a stick and throw it.

Question: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
Answer: They have crap for brains.

Question: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
Answer: They are the ones burning the American Flag.

Question: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
Answer: They are the ones burning the Constitution

Question: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
Answer: The bucket

Question: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
Answer: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.

Question: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
Answer: He didn’t.

Question: How do you drown a Liberal?
You paint Bill Clinton’s face at the bottom of a pool.

Question: Why do Liberals like smart women?
Answer: Opposites attract.

Question: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
Answer: Clinton’s rear doesn’t have eyes.

Question: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
Answer: There are no lights in Clinton’s rear.

Question: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
Answer: You Can’t.
 
How many conservatives does it take to help the poor? None, they're too busy watching Fox, or hooking up in airport restrooms.
 
"She needed the clothes." -- John Mccain explaining to reporters why the RNC spent $150,000 on clothes and accessories for Sarah Palin and her family, Florida, Oct. 23, 2008

good republican joke.
 
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