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best jokes of all time 10 points?
- Thread starter victoria
- Start date
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Magic Mirror
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
You've got Blonde
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
I am not being racist to blond girls. If is has made you feel bad, I apologize for the disturbance.
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Magic Mirror
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
You've got Blonde
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
I am not being racist to blond girls. If is has made you feel bad, I apologize for the disturbance.
♫♪BayBAy♪♫
New member
there was a blonde brunette and a redhead and they Sneeked on a ship and the three hid in differnt barrels...two of the crew workers were walking around and one said whats in here....he shook the one with the brunette in it and she said Wuff wuff and he said o its a dog he shook the one with the red head in it and she said meow and he said ohhh its a cat he shook the one with the blonde in it and she said uhhhh potato!!
T
Taking Back A Fire Inside
Guest
Why did the squirrel cross the road?
Because it was stapled the the chicken!
XD
Because it was stapled the the chicken!
XD
J
junkyard
Guest
A blond locked her keys in the car and was totally dismayed. She decided to call AAA. The woman on the other end says we can get a truck to you shortly. The blond says could you please hurry, it looks like rain and I left the top down.
HOLLYWOOD SWINGIN!!!
New member
Whats the difference between a whore and a rooster?
The rooster says Cock a doodle doo,
the whore say any Cock 'ell do.
Why are there so many blonde jokes?
Theres not, theres only 1, the rest are all true.
The rooster says Cock a doodle doo,
the whore say any Cock 'ell do.
Why are there so many blonde jokes?
Theres not, theres only 1, the rest are all true.
HOLLYWOOD SWINGIN!!!
New member
Whats the difference between a whore and a rooster?
The rooster says Cock a doodle doo,
the whore say any Cock 'ell do.
Why are there so many blonde jokes?
Theres not, theres only 1, the rest are all true.
The rooster says Cock a doodle doo,
the whore say any Cock 'ell do.
Why are there so many blonde jokes?
Theres not, theres only 1, the rest are all true.
Country Girl
New member
its not that funny but its something....
two blondes where in a boat on a Texas lake looking at the moon and one asked: what do you think is further....the moon or tennasee?
the other one said STUPID! we can see the moon! you dumbass....
~brittany~
3 girls were stranded in an island for the last year and a half. one redhead, one brunette and a blonde. one day they were walking along the shore and saw something in the sand. so they all grabbed it and rubbed the sand off. it was a magic lamp, so a genie comes out and grants them three wishes one a piece. the redhead comes up and says "I've been stuck here for a long time and i miss my family, i wish i was back home" poof she disappears and goes home. the brunette comes up and says "i too have been stranded here for a long time, i miss my home, cars, cell, and money, i wish i was back home" poof she too disappears. the blonde starts crying and tells the genie "i've have been here on this island for the last year and a half with some great friends and i miss them already, i wish they were back!"
the blond thinks her husband is cheating on her and is very angered so she goes and buys a gun.. When later she arives at the apartment she catches her husband in bed with a read head.. She slowly takes out the gun but, overwelmed with grief, she points it at her own head.. The boyfriend yells: "n0o dont do it" and the blond shouts back "shut up, your next!"
A blonde called her boyfriend and said,"honey, i have this killer puzzle i cant solve... by the box it says its a tiger" so then the boyfriend says ok and comes over to her house. then when he arrives the blonde says "could u help me now?" The boy then says" lets just get a cup of tea and put these frosted flakes back in the box"
A blonde, brunette and red head are running from the police. They run into a barn and each hide inside of a burlap sack. The cop comes in and nudges the sack where the red head is hiding, and he hear's "Woof Woof" so he figures its just a dog. The cop nudges the next sack, where the brunette is hiding, and he hears "Meow" so he figures its just a cat. He nudges the sack with the blonde, and he hears "Potato"
A blonde, brunette and red head are driving through a remote desert when their car breaks down. The red head points out that they will have to walk to the nearest town for help, but its over 50 miles away, and they can each carry only one item. The red head grabs a jug of water from the trunk and says "This will keep us from getting dehydrated." The brunette grabs an umbrella and says "This will provide shade as we walk" The blonde grabs a wrench and takes the door off of the car, saying "If we get too hot, we can roll down the window"
SORRY BLONDES BUT THESE ARE FUNNY.....I HOPE
two blondes where in a boat on a Texas lake looking at the moon and one asked: what do you think is further....the moon or tennasee?
the other one said STUPID! we can see the moon! you dumbass....
~brittany~
3 girls were stranded in an island for the last year and a half. one redhead, one brunette and a blonde. one day they were walking along the shore and saw something in the sand. so they all grabbed it and rubbed the sand off. it was a magic lamp, so a genie comes out and grants them three wishes one a piece. the redhead comes up and says "I've been stuck here for a long time and i miss my family, i wish i was back home" poof she disappears and goes home. the brunette comes up and says "i too have been stranded here for a long time, i miss my home, cars, cell, and money, i wish i was back home" poof she too disappears. the blonde starts crying and tells the genie "i've have been here on this island for the last year and a half with some great friends and i miss them already, i wish they were back!"
the blond thinks her husband is cheating on her and is very angered so she goes and buys a gun.. When later she arives at the apartment she catches her husband in bed with a read head.. She slowly takes out the gun but, overwelmed with grief, she points it at her own head.. The boyfriend yells: "n0o dont do it" and the blond shouts back "shut up, your next!"
A blonde called her boyfriend and said,"honey, i have this killer puzzle i cant solve... by the box it says its a tiger" so then the boyfriend says ok and comes over to her house. then when he arrives the blonde says "could u help me now?" The boy then says" lets just get a cup of tea and put these frosted flakes back in the box"
A blonde, brunette and red head are running from the police. They run into a barn and each hide inside of a burlap sack. The cop comes in and nudges the sack where the red head is hiding, and he hear's "Woof Woof" so he figures its just a dog. The cop nudges the next sack, where the brunette is hiding, and he hears "Meow" so he figures its just a cat. He nudges the sack with the blonde, and he hears "Potato"
A blonde, brunette and red head are driving through a remote desert when their car breaks down. The red head points out that they will have to walk to the nearest town for help, but its over 50 miles away, and they can each carry only one item. The red head grabs a jug of water from the trunk and says "This will keep us from getting dehydrated." The brunette grabs an umbrella and says "This will provide shade as we walk" The blonde grabs a wrench and takes the door off of the car, saying "If we get too hot, we can roll down the window"
SORRY BLONDES BUT THESE ARE FUNNY.....I HOPE