Best CHUCK NORRIS or MR.T joke?

D

Danny

New member
im afraid to put the letters in their name in lower case letters....lol the best CHUCK NORRIS fact i know is CHUCK NORRIS once went to the virgin islands. now theyre just the islands
star if u like my joke*
star if u like my joke*
 
Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
 
Chuck Norris counted to infinity...TWICE

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.


Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a starring contest.

Chuck Norris was in a car accident and lost both of his legs and STILL managed to walk it off.
 
CHUCK NORRIS can lead a horse to water, AND make it drink.
James Cameron wanted CHUCK NORRIS to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
These are not jokes. They are FACTS!!! Just like CHUCK NORRIS CAN touch MC Hammer. and eerily similar to: CHUCK NORRIS and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
 
My husband and I have the book THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS. I can't pick just one favorite because so many of the "truths" are hilarious. Here are some of my favorites:


Rather than being birthed like a normal child, CHUCK NORRIS instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Hence the term "C-section."

CHUCK NORRIS eats pencils and markers for breakfast, and he sh--- out masterpieces.

Every piece of furniture in CHUCK NORRIS'S house is a Total Gym.

Contrary to popular believe, CHUCK NORRIS was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

CHUCK NORRIS'S poop is used as currency in Argentina.

CHUCK NORRIS is so smart, Stephen Hawking stood up to bow down to him.

CHUCK NORRIS'S tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

At CHUCK NORRIS'S bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

CHUCK NORRIS wipes with forty-grit sandpaper.

CHUCK NORRIS can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.

It is commonly known that Eve was created from the rib of Adam, but few know that CHUCK NORRIS was actually created using Adam's genitals.


Okay, I'll stop here. (I have other favorites, but some of them are way too inappropriate to list here on Yahoo! Answers.)
 
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