This is a very delicate situation, and it would be appreciated that any comments be mature and handled sensetively. Don’t give me just links. Personal marriage experience would be preffered.
I recently got married about a month ago. My husband and I have known each other for over two and a half years and have gotten along splendidly. But during our honeymoon, we did not have sex. It’s almost been a whole month now and we still haven’t had sex. I know that it’s one of those things that can make or break a marriage and right now, I have a hard time going to bed without getting extremely upset about it. I don’t feel the closeness I want to with my husband and it’s really putting a strain on me.
I know my husband seems to have a lot of fears with sex. To be honest, I don’t see what there is to be scared of. I don’t know if he just has Sexual Adversion Disorder, or how to even help him desire for sex, to be close. He grew up with a very sexually open, whore-like family, so I believe that’s part of it since he resisted having sex but I want to be able to freely have sex with my husband. He freaks out when I see him naked and while we sorted were moving somewhere, I just feel like it’s stopped. I’ve tried talking with him and giving him room but I don’t feel he’s considering how he is jeopardizing the good health of our marriage. He says he’s “non-romantic” and maybe it’s just low sex drive but I honestly think it mostly has to do with the fears in his head. He won’t take counseling from anyone else—and I don’t really know what to do to help him along. Yes, he has to want to change, but I can’t stand not being close. It just tears me up inside. What can I do?
Also, no, we don't have any sexual medical conditions as being able to be aroused or whatever.
Additional details: No, lol, he's not gay! Yes, he was abused as a child. As a mentioned, my husband is not one of those people who can openly talk to a counselor. He has a hard time expressing his feelings--which seems to be natural in men, so counseling is currently not an option.
I'm not looking for divorce. I take marriage seriously and think this can be worked out--but I need to understand a little more about the male psyche, I think, to do so. If anyone has any good books or such to related situations, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!