Bad news

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trailor

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I just got the worst news tonight.... My heart is hurting so much...I have a neice (B) who is such a wonderful, beautiful girl, smart as a whip, head of her class, just a great girl. She's always had a hero worship kind of thing for me, lol. Her parents are very scheduled kind of people, never do anything spur of the moment, save not spend, etc.. Me, i'm the opposite, i'm the kinda girl who will go out for pancakes at 2am if i want to. So me and B have always been really tight. She's alot like me, stubborn and willful and always reading something, always thinking and questioning. I've always been kinda proud that she is like me, at least my good qualities. Unfortunately, she's a little to much like me...her dad admitted to me today that they have her in counseling for a pain pill addiction. I am overwhelmed with shock, anger, just...everything.... I'm not supposed to let her know that I know. The only reason he told me is so i could watch out for any drug seeking behaviors. The thing is, shes seen me go through this for 3 years..on and off the pills, the roller coaster we all go through. I've always said that the only good thing that came from my addiction is that all the kiRAB in my life would never do it cause they've seen me go through it. I've always been really honest about it with them in hopes that it would deter them from ever even trying drugs. I feel so guilty...my head tells me that it isn't my fault but my heart knows that if i asked that girl to jump off a bridge she'd ask me which side? I've told her a thousand times not to do ANY kind of drugs...never start and you won't have to stop, ya know? And the fact that she didn't come to me hurts too. Anyway, I know theres not much i can do, her dad put her counseling and shes doing okay i guess. I'm just so scared and worried for her. She is 18 yrs old and is already doing this, whats next? Shes been missing a ton of school, and mouthing her mom and dad real bad, staying up all night..... Please guys, if anyone prays to a higher power, put her in your prayers. She is just such a great caring girl....
 
Trailor:

She is lucky to have you, I know in her heart she knows this. I laughed when you made the comment about mama bear I am so like that too. I'm very protective of the young ppl. i will keep you both in my prayers, you post hit me hard cuz when my son was actively using I remeraber telling all my AA/NA frienRAB you have to save him I can't all I can do right now is save myself. I prayed and asked God to help him and he is doing alot better. Just have faith. Take Care. I am tired and going to sleep. Cee ya tomorrow.

Love ya,
Lori
 
Trailor,

I am so sorry! I know you feel some sort of responsibility but you don't. I am sorry you are so hurt and I promise you this girl will be in my prayers!!!!!

I bet this was very hard for you to hear and it's been horrible ever sense but if you her parents are helping her now... Maybe she can get past this before she lets it get as far as we all have.

Your family is in my heart and my prayers!
XOXOXOXO
 
T. I am so sorry you have to go through this. The way you described her I thought instantly wow she sounRAB like me. We are overly sensitive, just be honest about your struggle she will come around and talk to you because you have this in common. I know you want to have something else in common. But what a blessing she has someone who knows her struggle, and who is struggling the same struggle. You guys can grow an work a program together. i would see this as an opportunity to show her that recovery can work. Another blessing is she got help b4 her life was a disaster, I will pray for her oh my heart goes out to you. My son is an alcoholic I can talk program to him and he see's my struggle. Lately I have even seen a change in him he's not hanging out with the ppl he use to and he's stopped drinking. I know as long as I stay sober I am a good example to him. I hope this helps stay strong and remeraber don't drink or use no matter what.

Love ya,
Lori
 
Thank you Secrets.... You have been so good to me on this board! I spent most of this weekend with her ( took her to get a tattoo--eye roll! ) and I'm still a little bummed because she didn't admit it to me yet. I just talked about my own recovery, how much better I'm feeling, stuff like that. I guess thats all I can do right now, try to lead by example. Thanks to all of you that have her in your prayers and thoughts. I think I'm still in shock about it, honestly...I just keep thinking- How could she? She begged ME to stop several months ago....- I don't know. Any advice other than what i'm doing? I've never dealt with any one else's addictions, just my own, ya know? I just don't know how to help.
 
No need for a thanks my friend!

The best advice I can give you is short and sweet and meant with overwhelming love.

Lead by example!

THEN.... Pray and support and do everything you can to get her clean!!!

You hang in there..... You are going to get thru this. I will keep praying, I promise!
XOXOOXOX
 
sorry to here about that im sure its not easy. pain killers are starting to live up to that name.and seem to be peoples drug of choise in the past 10 years. most important she is getting help. an help may or may not be forced. as she grows time will tell . the first time i seeked help in my early 20s i just wanted to get parents off my back . i was not ready for 15 more years . hopefully this will be all she neeRAB. i was told time is things i must earn , when push came to shove you could not tell me anything once i was off an runing . i have a twin who is an active alcoholic. i cant preach be angry or hurt i can be her friend an treat her the way i always have.if she ever has questions then an only then can i help . i have no control or say so. ya thats a bitch but its so true. you can not be responceable for someone elses recovery sounRAB like you have enough of your own problems to work on. you can do like i do an treat her the way you always have. but take responceabity for your life an in time mabey you will be of better help. dont be so hard on your self as it will get in the way of your recovery. you have to come first. i will pray for both of you tonight good luck. may god be with us all:angel:
 
HI THE SHOCK WILL GO AWAY .AN YOU WILL BE A GREAT POWER OF EXAMPLE . THAT FOUR LETTER WORD TIME IS A BIG WORD JUST GIVE IT SOME TIME . SHE WILL COME AROUND SOUDNS LIKE YOUR DOING ALL YOU CAN FOR NOW.:wave: SCOTT:) READ MORE THREARAB AN MABEY INTRO HER TO THIS FORUM GROUP OF DRUGYS BE WITH YOU BOTH AN YOUR FAMILY OH AN DRUNKS IN MY CASE
 
Thank you for your reply Lori. I hope that she will "come clean" with me in both senses of the phrase. I also found out that a boyfreind was selling them to her. This boy had been to my house many times, i actually really liked him. Now, honestly, i'm a little scared of what will happen if I ever see him again. Mama Bear is not happy when you mess with her cub!!! To think I let him in my home...he even knew about my addiction, I told him all about what I've been through...all the while he's getting her hooked on this crap... I swear I think I could really hurt the kid. Luckily, I have 2 REALLY big brothers that "ever so nicely" told him to leave and never come back. Now i'm just hoping she'll confess to me and we can start to heal.


-Trailor
 
Hi Trailor;
I have a niece who is 17 yrs old and is drinking like crazy. She almost drank herself to death a couple weeks ago, went to ER, etc. She knows that I am an alcoholic, and at the time had 10 yrs clean and she never came to me first. It hurt. But the hardest people to help are ones in my own family. I am convinced addiction is a disease, and it's the disease that says you don't have a disease. I'm sorry you are going thru this. All we can do is pray. And try to carry a message to the person. It is their choice whether to hear it. I know that sounRAB cold. Even though my niece is still drinking and drugging, I have let her know I am there for her, no matter what, and she can call me anytime, even if she does not want recovery. I love her. I can't throw her out of my life. When I needed help and everyone knew it, but I didn't know it, people were there for me. So be there for her in any way you can without enabling the addiction. My heart and prayers to you and keep me posted. You are not responsible for her addiction.
GypsyBoots
 
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