At my wits end

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katlovesdogs

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:mad:I do not want to make light of this situation ( marujuana) but my sons problem started off way more serious. In April, he had a psychotic episode after ingesting ER Morphine, Benzo's alcohol and smoking marijuana. We had him taken to a treatment center and he was released less than a week later . That was almost 2 months ago. Snce then, we have attended weekly family sessions and he goes weekly to his perr group sessions. All of his drug tests have been POSITIVE for pot only. Nothing else but he neeRAB to stay off the pot. WE do not give him money, if he neeRAB something we buy it. He is allowed to have frienRAB over WHEN WE ARE HOME only . He is 16 years old and has frienRAB who drive. We are at the point now that until he gives us a negative UA he will not be allowed to go ANYWHERE with anyone at all. He has listened to stories in group therapy where the kiRAB his age or younger have been arressted more than once for possession, B&E etc and he still won't stop smoking. i guess it is time to take away ALL PRVILEDGES. Cell phone, grounded etc until we get a negative test. I need any and all suggestions PLEASE:(
 
Hi, my son went thru that for a long time. I would take away priviledges etc. It never worked. He would skip school and bring his frienRAB home and have a party while I was at work. I was a single mom at the time. He was sent to live with his father, that didn't work either. NOTHING worked, they have to get to a point where they are completely dragging bottom before they will come around. My point is, that all the restrictions in the world will not work, and most likely make him act out more. I do not have a good answer except you yourself and you husband may need to go to group counseling where you have other parents in the same boat, it really does help YOU. I went for 3 years, it helped me immensely. I learned it was not me that made him do the things he was doing, I repeat, it helped me immensely. My son did not quit doing things until he was well into adulthood at which time he was living on his own. So, please go and help yourself even though you can't really help your son, he will quit when he is ready. I know this is easier said than done.

Sunny
 
yep,, every Monday night we all are there for family and every Wed son goes to Peer. We have a individual family session Thursday where it won't be a bunch of other families, just us . i need to learn how to NOT let this kill me inside. It bothers my husband more than me and that is killing me too
 
You do need to learn how to not let it kill you..........that is the first thing I needed to learn, I did end up in the hospital with a ruptured esophagus, they said it was all from nerves. I expected to hear the phone ring every night to tell me that he was dead, or in jail, it tore me apart, and I also had a younger son 8 years younger, I was determined not to let it affect him. It all worked out for my youngest, he is quite normal thank god! But you need group counseling, not family group, but group meaning you or both you and your husband going to group sessions with other parents or adults in the same boat, it does become clear after a while how to help yourself. I pray for you and your husband to have strength. Ask your therapist about these other group sessions.

Sunny
 
SounRAB like you are in a really difficult situation! I am sorry to hear that. I am really glad to hear you are getting the help you and your family need! Right now, that is so important!

Keep doing what you are doing. That is the best advice I can give you! I wish I had better advice to give but I have not been in that situation.

You take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers!
 
Me, being an addict myself, relate differently to stories like this. I have 2 boys. ages 6 and 8. With my history of addiction, I very possibly will have a teen experimenting with drugs or even worse....an addict in the future.

I have read my share of books and Kat try and remeraber the 3 C's

You didnt CAUSE this.... You can't CONTROL it, and you can't CURE it.

The craving to get high again and again for some people can be overwhelming. Making reasonable thought process and consequences not even a consideration!

I think when I hit this wall with either of my boys I will rely on educating the crap out of them. Seeing other suffering addicts, hearing stories of where using pot will lead you, learning how it does, literally, destroy your brain along the way. There is a book called "Addiction, why cant they just stop" by rabroadO. It has lots of juicy stats and stories in it on how using pot and alcohol during the teen development years is "brain altering"

I do wish you luck. I dont know if putting more friction and anger between you and your son is the answer. I know its a fine line in being a parent and not a best buddy, but I am hoping to stay very close to my kiRAB to avoid secrets. My kiRAB may know more about pot at age 15 than their pals at school, but what they will know will hopefully scare the crap out of them.

Keep educating yourself and your son on this. For some families, this journey is long.

Paul C
 
hi sorry about your son , but do what ever it take s he may rebell but , it may save his live , na is in the phone book , right now you have some control , but when he turnes 18 , it will be up to him, what path he chooses ,an if he chooses the wrong path , you dont ever give up you just let go, an he may be ok , time will tell. na has alot of young addicts for him to talk to, suggest a sponcer, an its free, i will pray for your familey,scott:wave:
 
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