Ashamed

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trailor

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Guys- I slipped...took some vics a couple days ago, i feel terrible. I had 3 weeks clean, then, Bamm!! Found a bottle with some in it and tok them all. I feel so worthless right now. Still haven't told anyone IRL about it. I'd love to blame it on something other than myself , my own weakness, but I can't. Honestly, I wasn't even in much pain that day. They made me feelgreat while I was taking them, but now the guilt is just eating me up... :(
 
dont be so hard on your self shame an guilt are part of the prosses.we all struggle with you. i have had a hard time latley. at almost 5 years its cunning bafling powerful . thoughts of drinking then i think about the terrible after affects.im not kidding either like the obsesion i had early on so where not alone:) . god speed scott :wave:
 
Trailor,

My dear friend. I know the feelings of shame,however, you need to put that past you and move forward because letting it eat you alive is not going to do you ANY good. We all make mistakes and are human. You are a good person. You just had a slip and can now learn from this. You can get back on that wagon and continue to do the right thing.

You my friend are worth this fight please don't put yourself too far down because you don't deserve it. Pick yourself up, take a look in the mirror and say.... TODAY IS A NEW DAY!

Be proud of your three weeks. You can do it again.

I will say some prayers and I am sending you a GREAT BIG HUG!
XOXOXOOXOXOXO
 
Hey trailor - been there, done that! Beating yourself up isn't going to accomplish anything. Just start over again and keep moving forward. It is something that we all will have to fight for the rest of our lives. I slipped at 17 days and again around 24 days. I beat myself up and it didn't do any good. I just started over again and I have been good since. You will never know when the craving or opportunity will show its ugly, little head. It's guaranteed that it will pop up again and you just have to fight it off.

I keep the memory of me walking around the house all night long in such agony that I couldn't hardly stand it and I ask myself, "Do you REALLY want to go through that again?" I never want to go through the withdrawals ever again. Do I occasionally think about taking another pill? It's not as bad as when I was craving them, but yes, every once and a while the little Oxy devil speaks up and says, "One isn't going to hurt you." I just remind it of the w/d's and it goes away.

I don't know what day I'm on anymore, I stopped counting. For me, it doesn't matter how many days clean I am. I know for others it is important. I just know what my past was and I know that no matter how many days it has been, I still have to fight for right NOW to stay clean. Now is the only time that exists. Learn from yesterday's mistakes, so you don't make them again.

Just remeraber the worst of your withdrawals before popping another pill in your mouth. It's like the saying, "A journey begins with the first step." Another addition begins with the first pill.

Just start over again and keep that goal to stay clean.
 
It happens.........you slipped up. Does it make you a bad person? No. Just start over again and do your best. You can't change what has happened and it just wastes precious time dwelling on the negative. All you can do is move forward. You can beat this, there may be a few bumps in the road, but you are human and all humans make bad choices from time to time.

I hope that you have a good weekend and try to focus on the positive.
 
Hey,

How are you doing now??? Would love an update!! Been thinking of you!!!

XOXOXOOXOX
 
Thanks everyone, I'm doing a little better. I was surprised by how many detox symptoms I had from my slip, but I feel better again now. I know some of you believe in a higher power, so i feel comfortable saying that I prayed about it, thought about about it alot, and decided that I am just gonna have to crawl back up on the wagon and just try harder next time. I hate feeling like i'm not in control, ya know? It was just, saw them=take them. I hate that I'm gonna have to scream like a little girl every time i see a pain pill. I can see myself now - Honey, HELP!!!--theres a percocet in my purse!! AHHH!!- If only percocets were a large venomous reptile, that statement wouldn't sound so odd, LOL.
 
Hi Trailor;
I slipped too. But I purposely got a prescription and am back at square one. I could only handle two days of withdrawals and freaked out. I know that ashamed feeling. I feel like a heel too but I also know that slips are part of this thing and we just have to keep doing it til we get it right. I'm not going to give up. Shame will only keep me in my addiction. It doesn't justify what I did by taking pills, but I will try again and again and again til I get clean. Sometimes you have to relapse to get stronger in your recovery. Does that make sense? I'm glad you shared about your slip cuz I was nervous about sharing about my slip. It's going to be o.k. Keep me posted:angel:
Love,
GypsyBoots
 
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