As an adult can be considered acceptable to be seen in tears from physical pain?

S

shorty_2_us

New member
I'm 47 business woman and I work as H.R. manager in a big multinational company.
Some months ago, during a convention in an exotic location, far away fro any hospital,I had to suffer terribly because of kidney stones.
After hours of excruciating pain and nobody who could help me, in spite of all my efforts, I didn't manage to fight back the tears and I started silently crying in front of many of my colleagues.
I felt very embarrassed... In addition to my embarrassment my husband criticized me, saying that a woman like me, in my position, should never look weak and that for no reasons I'm allowed to shed tears in front of my coworkers...

What do you think?
Did it ever happen to you?
How old were you last time that physical pain made you cry?
 
I know women who have both given birth and had kidney stones. They say that the kidney stones were indescribably more painful. Unless your critics have known those two kinds of pain, they have no basis for minimizing yours. I guess the cultural expectations are different in your part of the world, but here there aren't many in mine who would say you're weak for succumbing to the horrible pain of passing a kidney stone.

I'm sorry your husband put you in the position of having to justify your tears of pain. The emotional pain of that must have made the physical pain so much worse.
 
Shame on your husband. He should have supported you instead of making the comments he did. Kidney pain can be horrible. I remember my father-in-law telling us passing a stone brought him to tears. I had a stone a few months ago, and while it didn't bring me to tears I couldn't sleep for two nights because it hurt so bad.
I am 57 and I cry. I was hurt at work because of another employee. I cried when my wrist popped. I didn't care. It hurt. As a result I had to have wrist and back surgery. I cried when I tried to get up for the first time. I didn't want to take heavy pain medications. My husband a retired cop, had tears in his eyes from pain when he hurt his hip requiring hip replacement. Just because of your job, your status or whatever, it doesn't make you less human or incapable of having pain. Surely, your husband must realize you didn't intend to show what he considers a weakness. You do your job well and you will have the respect of employees. I hope your husband doesn't have any employees working under him. He sounds like he needs to take some sensitivity classes.
 
I have an issue where I cry at the drop of a hat. I was an abused child and tears are easily brought to the surface over the most mundane thing. I have cried in front of superiors when told of a death or illness of a co-worker or having gall-stone pain, etc.

Tears shows you are human and it also shows what a jerk your husband truly is.

Don't worry. there will be a time in his life when he suffers pain and if a tear shows in his eyes, you'll have a chance to say I told you so.

CaringSister54
 
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