Captain Beefheart - Your music sounRAB like shit. I understand being creative and experimental, but listening to that crap and liking it has to be akin to defecating on kitten, rubbing it on a wall, and calling it art.
Rush - Geddy, your vocals annoy the shit out of me. I would much prefer Rush with your vocal chorRAB cut out.
Metallica - Same goes for you, Hetfield. We'll include your stupid face in the surgery.
Mogwai - ZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ wake me up when you guys die in a train accident. It will have been more eventful than your music.
Linkin Park - I'm sick of you guys existing. You sound so generic it makes me want drink bleach. Do you even have a fan-base anymore? I hope not, and I hope you get the hint and just stop before you end up doing an album with Oasis and we all end up killing ourselves.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Cheesy on every front. And nothing special, except the amount of cheesiness, which somehow overshadows the dull and boring music.
Weezer - Speaking of cheesy, your lyrics are retarded and I don't care if it's intentional. Cuomo, I hate the way you pronounce certain worRAB too. It's enough for me to hate you.
Disturbed - Draiman, why do you sing like that? It sounRAB really fucking stupid. It's like you're taking it up the butt while eating peanut butter and emulating a chipmunk with too many testicles. Your latest album even improved in the guitar department, but you're still singing in the band, so there really isn't any improvement at all. I'll continue hating it.
A million other obvious choices - Just pick one. There's a significant chance I won't like it. Especially if it's that typical indie garbage. Or anything with a 4 to the floor beat. Or D&B with a jazzy sounding female singing in it. Or anything that's experimental for the sake of being experimental and doesn't achieve anything except experimental(ness).
I guess I'm done.