My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 8 months now. He's a great guy, but some times has the tendency to severely lack compassion. My opinion is, he's relatively selfish and finds it difficult to empathize with any other perspective, stubbornly clinging to his own, rather self indulgently.
Often, I do not feel as if I receive the affection, compassion, sentiment, romance, and understanding I deserve. I am routinely treated as a burden for experiencing emotions or having any expectations in the relationship. I'm belittled and deemed irrational or just argued with endlessly instead of listened to. I can imagine it must be difficult to adjust ones mentality to accommodate another's. Especially when a person is so familiar with their own solitude, independence, temperament, and unquestioning authority. Cleaving to the narcissism inconsequential to the single life, however, is not going to benefit the relationship.
The last couple weeks I have been feeling extraordinarily depressed. My life seems to be in a deteriorative state. I am struggling immensely. I'm in a hopeless situation and it's having a major impact on me. I'll spare the details. My circumstances are poor, I have limited options, and time seems to be devouring the possibility for prosperity quite rapidly. Not to mention, engaging in these futile arguments with my boyfriend so frequently is taking a large toll on me. I have been losing motivation... to even live... to try... to wake up. My boyfriend is not entirely to blame for these feelings. I just wish he was more willing to help. I don't want him to remedy my depression. I am feeling depressed due to various things in my life. I only wish he had the desire to be compassionate, to support me through my time of despair, and put forth more effort. I am committed to him and regard our futures as being entangled. What happens to me should affect him, just as it would for me if things were reversed.
I've mentioned to him this irrepressible melancholy and he does not seem to be appropriately concerned. Last night, he wanted me to drive to his house to spend the night. I tried to express to him how I've been feeling incredibly depressed, how I seem to be devoid of optimism or hope, how I can't seem to inspire much motivation even for the most simplistic tasks. It's not that I didn't want to be with him, or see him, I did, more than anything. I'm just... well, I've already said it. He started arguing with me about how various other things are a bigger priority than he is, how I'm not interested in being with him, etc. I tried to further explain myself, but I wasn't listened to. Instead of being concerned for my current well being or understanding of my honest expression, he got angry and basically told me: "When you decide you want to be with me, give me a call."
I don't feel like he cares. This isn't the first time he's neglected my feelings to argue with me. I really can't believe he cares, that much, about me. Especially when it seems so easy for him to reject me instead of embrace me in a time of need. He's faultless and I'm worthless. Apparently.
I guess I'd just like some opinions.
Often, I do not feel as if I receive the affection, compassion, sentiment, romance, and understanding I deserve. I am routinely treated as a burden for experiencing emotions or having any expectations in the relationship. I'm belittled and deemed irrational or just argued with endlessly instead of listened to. I can imagine it must be difficult to adjust ones mentality to accommodate another's. Especially when a person is so familiar with their own solitude, independence, temperament, and unquestioning authority. Cleaving to the narcissism inconsequential to the single life, however, is not going to benefit the relationship.
The last couple weeks I have been feeling extraordinarily depressed. My life seems to be in a deteriorative state. I am struggling immensely. I'm in a hopeless situation and it's having a major impact on me. I'll spare the details. My circumstances are poor, I have limited options, and time seems to be devouring the possibility for prosperity quite rapidly. Not to mention, engaging in these futile arguments with my boyfriend so frequently is taking a large toll on me. I have been losing motivation... to even live... to try... to wake up. My boyfriend is not entirely to blame for these feelings. I just wish he was more willing to help. I don't want him to remedy my depression. I am feeling depressed due to various things in my life. I only wish he had the desire to be compassionate, to support me through my time of despair, and put forth more effort. I am committed to him and regard our futures as being entangled. What happens to me should affect him, just as it would for me if things were reversed.
I've mentioned to him this irrepressible melancholy and he does not seem to be appropriately concerned. Last night, he wanted me to drive to his house to spend the night. I tried to express to him how I've been feeling incredibly depressed, how I seem to be devoid of optimism or hope, how I can't seem to inspire much motivation even for the most simplistic tasks. It's not that I didn't want to be with him, or see him, I did, more than anything. I'm just... well, I've already said it. He started arguing with me about how various other things are a bigger priority than he is, how I'm not interested in being with him, etc. I tried to further explain myself, but I wasn't listened to. Instead of being concerned for my current well being or understanding of my honest expression, he got angry and basically told me: "When you decide you want to be with me, give me a call."
I don't feel like he cares. This isn't the first time he's neglected my feelings to argue with me. I really can't believe he cares, that much, about me. Especially when it seems so easy for him to reject me instead of embrace me in a time of need. He's faultless and I'm worthless. Apparently.
I guess I'd just like some opinions.