Arguing with my mom about her adding me as a friend on facebook! help!?

S

secret18233

New member
So my mom made a facebook account a couple of weeks ago and added me as a friend. I havent accepted it, knowing that she'll be nosy and read every single comment on there. (She has done it in the past with myspace, and used it against me during arguments ). Im a third year in college and i do drink. I do have drinking pictures, and my mom is asian, so shes in denial that i drink. she thinks that all i should be doing is studying. I have party pictures with all my friends and what not. I dont wanna add her because she will give me SOOOO much crap for those pictures and give me a lecture that i should be a decent young women. BUT HELLO, im in college!!! i'll be a decent young woman when im done being young. so how can i tell her in a way that she''ll understand that it's invading my privacy????

i've been telling her that we can be friends in real life and not in the internet. but she's like...i want to be your friend on the internet! HELLPPP!
 
That's quite understandable - your mother loves you but isn't aware that you are old enough to take care of yourself. I could bet she's really annoying too, saying things that aren't groundless and are wrongly justified in so many ways that its unbelievable that such a person could have a job that produces enough money to pay for a child.

Chances are there is no way you can convince her that you want to do what you like without her nose in it, since she won't listen - its usual for nosy people to stay nosy unless they learn that it isn't such a good thing (which means drastic measures at pushing your mother into a dangerous position, the danger depending on the severity of her persistence and attitude in watching over you and your activities).

My advice would be to either deactivate your Facebook account and just not use it anymore, maybe starting a new one under a different name and such. Or you could continue what you are doing and completely ignore your mother - there isn't much she can do other than waste her pathetic time trying to figure a way to keep watch over you while you can laugh at her failures.
 
This is a delicate situation and something which you and your mum will never see eye-to-eye. She is the typical mother who worries constantly over her young daughter and does not want her daughter to make any mistakes that she's going to regret later in life. You, on the other hand, is the typical independent young woman who wants to make her own mistakes, and let her hair down while she can - and that you'll be able to handle anything that comes your way.

So you're faced with several options:

1) Never accept her friend request and block her. I would not recommend this as it would only increase her worries over you, and in turn, her nagging. She would be hurt that you would cut her out of your life like that, and you're probably going to feel like tearing your hair out over your mum's "over-reaction".

2) Accept her friend request and let her see whatever you do. If you're adult enough to drink and know the consequences, then you should be matured enough to handle the storm that comes your way from your mum.

3) Accept her friend request but make your profile limited. Not too limited that she would suspect you're hiding things from her, but private enough that certain things you don't want her to see, is kept hidden from her. For example, pictures of you drinking / socialising etc.

Whether you take Step 2 or 3 depends entirely on how strong you are to face your mum, and the consequences of your actions. If you think you can handle the lectures (and hope that she'll eventually mellow down), then take step 2. If not, Step 3 - though if she ever finds out you hide things from her, she might start nagging even more.
 
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