Arguing with girlfriend. Please read?

[BLC19]

Hey, this is fairly common.

Just talk to her straight up. "We have a problem with how we solve conflicts. I think we both want each other to be happy, and to come out on top, but the only way that this is gonna work is if we let each other know exactly what we want from an outcome; of a situation".

Asking us on here will do you nothing. Talk to her, and let her know that what you're currently trying to do, isn't working, that you need a new system.

luckx.

 

[Pyro]

Whenever my girlfriend and i argue and try to come up with an option or an alternative, my girlfriend always says "it's up to you" or " is that what will make you feel better"....I'm always trying to think of a way to make both of us happy and it feels like she only cares about what i want and what i want is what she wants....When people say a relationship is a two way, this is what i mean....it feels like it's only a one way and frankly i'm getting fed up. What should i do from here.

 

[Moony3005231]

There usually is a main decision maker in a relationship. Of course, people think they'd want someone where they can totally 50% share decisions, chores, etc etc but it rarely works out that way. Usually one person will end up making more of the decisions, be the main motivator, and have more influence (i.e. trying to convince them of a topic) over the other one. Some women get it into their head that they should be submissive, and guys like that. And ones that aren't submissive, will say "do whatever you want / it's up to you" or something similar in a frusterated/defeated voice after an argument because they don't want to continue arguing. Who likes to argue.

If she's always leaving decisions up to you, you just have to see if you're okay with that. Some guys like to be the boss's in a relationship, but I don't think you're one of them.

My boyfriend usually leaves decisions up to me, but that's a regular thing. If we do anything, or make decisions together, he obviously lets me be the leader. But I don't mind that. I'd find it extremely annoying if I was with a guy who thought he could "take the reins." So our relationship works well. He does his part to contribute, don't get me wrong, but he even said it I'm "in charge", but, again, I like it like that.

If it's a problem from day to day, try to work at a little at a time. Agree to attempt to alternate in decisions, or come to conclusions as more of a team. It will take some time, but hopefully later you will be more satisfied.

 

[Lee]

This is classic passive-agressive behavior. Call her hand on it. Let her know that if she makes no input, you cannot do the "fair" thing. Do the unfair thing until she knocks it off.