Are you going to laugh at my jokes?
- Thread starter Gabe
- Start date
The good ol' days
A couple of elderly RVers who'd recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary were sitting on the sofa in their Airstream motorhome, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?" He moved over and sat close to her.
"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight.
"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?" With that, her husband got up and started to walk toward the rear of the motorhome.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth!
==
The Train Lantern
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"
===
Train Crash
Roy is applying for a high paying executive job at the railroad and during the interview, an inspector asks him, "What would you do if you saw two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"
Roy says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I’d use the manual lever." answers Roy.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?" asks the inspector.
"I’d use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"I’d use the public phone near the station."
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"If that happened," Roy answers, " I'd run home and get Carla. "
The inspector asked, "Why would you do that?"
"Because Carla has never seen a train crash."
A couple of elderly RVers who'd recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary were sitting on the sofa in their Airstream motorhome, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?" He moved over and sat close to her.
"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight.
"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?" With that, her husband got up and started to walk toward the rear of the motorhome.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth!
==
The Train Lantern
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"
===
Train Crash
Roy is applying for a high paying executive job at the railroad and during the interview, an inspector asks him, "What would you do if you saw two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"
Roy says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I’d use the manual lever." answers Roy.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?" asks the inspector.
"I’d use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"I’d use the public phone near the station."
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"If that happened," Roy answers, " I'd run home and get Carla. "
The inspector asked, "Why would you do that?"
"Because Carla has never seen a train crash."
BadBoy4lif
New member
LOL LOL KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GREAT JOB!!!!
English muffin
New member
LOL i didnt read anything. BUT LMFAO
sexycbear-xx
New member
haha those were funny 