J
Jake5282
Guest
A mother picks up her six-year-old daughter from school and asks her what she did today.
"I met a boy named Darren and we played doctor together," replied the girl. "I was the patient."
Concerned by this but trying not to sound too alarmed, the mother calmly asked her daughter what Darren did to her when he was playing doctor.
"Well, he made me wait for almost an hour and then double-billed my insurance company."
A local charity office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The director called him, hoping to get a contribution. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you’ve given not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
The lawyer replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the director mumbled, “Um...no.”
“Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?” The stricken director began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted. “ Or that my sister’s husband died in a car accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
The humiliated director said simply, “I had no idea…”
“So if I don’t give any money to them, why the hell would I give any to you?”
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
"I met a boy named Darren and we played doctor together," replied the girl. "I was the patient."
Concerned by this but trying not to sound too alarmed, the mother calmly asked her daughter what Darren did to her when he was playing doctor.
"Well, he made me wait for almost an hour and then double-billed my insurance company."
A local charity office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The director called him, hoping to get a contribution. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you’ve given not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
The lawyer replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the director mumbled, “Um...no.”
“Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?” The stricken director began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted. “ Or that my sister’s husband died in a car accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
The humiliated director said simply, “I had no idea…”
“So if I don’t give any money to them, why the hell would I give any to you?”
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"