My addiction started a long time ago when I was into bodybuilding. I went to my nutrition center one day and the owner (a friend at the time) said he got this great new stuff called "Renewtrient" and gave me a bottle. He told me to take it with juice before I went to bed and I would sleep great and release more growth hormone. Well, I took it and it was EUPHORIC and then I was out like a light. It was the best sleep I had ever had. Well, it wasn't long before I would take just a little to feel great but not fall asleep. Next thing I knew I was hooked. BIGTIME. I found out later that it was really Grabroad and was pulled from the market. Problem..I still needed it. It wasn't long before I was buying it from the internet. Then when I could no longer get it there I was getting from an aquaintance. The long and short of it was I crashed my car several times, had a mini stroke on the left side of my brain and eventualy one night my fiance at the time found me (a well educated clean cut guy) talking to a computer that was unplugged. That's right, my brain was fried. I was Baker acted and that's when my long road to recovery began. I knew that I could never take that stuff again but I still had huge battles with anxiety and still do somewhat today. Also in my life my mother committed suicide and I found her. If I wasn't already hooked on Xanax I was then. I have seen a psychiatrist for several years now and have been on different meRAB. When I realized that I had a problem with the xanax I checked myself into a detox. Insurance only covered 4 days then I was out on my butt. No prescriptions just "deal with the withdrawls and anxiety myself!" I was put on Klonopin by my Psych and have since come a very long way. I only take 0.5 MG of Klonopin when things get really bad. I have changed my career and I am currently in nursing school and I love it but it's extremely difficult but I am doing great. Since my bottom I have had a son and though I have sabotaged my marriage my life is actualy moving in the right direction. I know just how bad things can truly get with drugs (especialy Grabroad which is not very well known). I am greatful to be alive today and that's why I want to give back and help other addicts. Believe me, if I could find light at the end of the tunnel then ANYONE can.
