Anyone have this happen to 'em before?

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brandyt3747

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Anyone who recognizes this name knows, I don't exactly have the.. Most fun in life. Trust me.

Today I decided to visit my father, who I haven't seen since December. Thought it'd be nice to say hi, maybe see how he's doin or whatever. Whatever.

I get there, we talk for a while and he cracks a joke about my sister. Normally, I laugh about jokes dealing with my sister. The thing is, she's gay. Me and her joke all the time. I love her, she's my sister, you know? My father on the other hand, hates the fact she's gay. Ironically enough, he also hated the thought of her kissing a guy, so you can imagine what kind of a father we share.

Anywho, he didn't just crack one of those harmless jokes that me and my sister laugh about. No no no. It was one of those mean spirited, intended to brutally insult her had she been here kind of jokes.

I simply ask "Dude, don't say that around me. Whatever is going on between the two of you is one that, but don't say that shit around me, please."

Exact words, or at least pretty damn close. He just rolls his eyes, and I decide that if he tells two or three more like that, I'll make up an excuse and leave.

So we talk for a few more minutes, and my father gets the bright idea to tell four or five of the jokes, all back to back. As if it would make it better than if he had just told the one I guess. I look at the clock, stand up and say "I gotta get out of here."

Then he went crazy. And I'm not talking roll-poop-into-balls crazy, I'm talking turned-into-a-moron crazy. He stands up and says "No you're not."

I turn around, thinkin he's just tellin one of his dumb jokes again.

"Excuse me? Yeah I am."

He tries to get in my way, and I just, you know, move quicker towards the door. So in his stupidity, he figures hitting me in the back of the head is the brightest idea he can come up with.

For the record, I'm 20 years old. By no means do I think I am the most mature person in the world, in fact I know I'm not. But this? This took the cake for childish acts as far as I'm concerned.

I try to move closer to the door, pretending my father hadn't just punched me in the back of the head. He does it again. I turn around, use a Muay Thai (I train in Muay Thai) headlock on him, knee him in the face, let him drop to the floor, walk to my car, and drive the fuck off.

And here's the part that really sucks.

I feel bad about it.

There are a billion different ways I could have handled that.. I didn't have to drop him. I feel so fuckin stupid for doin it. There's already a rift between me and that part of my family, and I know I just made it that much worse by doing that to him.

Usually I'm a very mellow person, and in fact only took up Muay Thai because it was helping me get over the bullshit I usually deal with by letting me concentrate my energies into something positive.'

I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen with me and him anymore... I just needed to get the shit out of my system.
 
Either way it goes you're gonna feel bad cause hes your dad but All you tried to do was defend you sisters honor. If he didn't catch a clue to shut the hell up the first time, then he got what he deserved! Family members are the main ones who can really push the wrong buttons. I would have done the same thing without the guilt afterwards. Don't feel bad!
 
You are not in the wrong according to the facts given.

You were polite, and tried to leave. Your father then assaulted you. It's called defense. If that part of you family makes you feel like what he just made you feel, consider dropping them. I know this seems a rather harsh decision, but as an adult, you do not need the woes your family may cause on top of everything else.

Should you decide to make up, do not apologize. Merely discuss the matter over the phone so the worst that could happen is a hang-up. Remember, you are in the right and apologizing only justifies what he did and criminalizes your actions further.
 
Well, instead of practically dropping him to the floor. You could have attempted to restrain him in a chair first, then went out the door. But I mean, if he is bigger than you and you dont think you could do it, then I think you made the right choice.
 
He sounds immature as hell but I think a knee to the face of your own father was taking it too far. It took me a minute to find out if you were joking or not.
 
Psh, you handled it better than I would. One punch and I would turned around and whooped his ass. You were in the right. You tried to calmly leave, he prevented that and made it worse by hitting you.
 
The fact that you feel guilty about how the situation ended is reflective both of the philosophy behind Muay Thai, as well as a background belief of respect for one's parents or elders. That speaks well of you.

You know your father was out of line, both in what he said and what he did. How would you have reacted if this behavior came from a friend, rather than a parent? You're old enough to regard your parent as a person, not just an authority figure, and the rules for acceptable social behavior apply to him as well.

It's rather surprising that your father thought he could get away with that nonsense. He needs to know, and understand, that interaction with you requires a civil tongue. You are both adults, and he should accept the fact that, in regards to your sister (and probably many other issues), he should watch what he says, or you two won't be talking much.

It's a shame when parents can't accept the way their children choose to live their lives, especially when it's harming no one. Get a clue, Pop, or you're going to find yourself very alone in future years.
 
One of the philosophies of Jiujitsu is to walk (or run) away from a fight. If the antagonist continues to assault you, you retaliate enough to get away. I think you did that quite well. It was enough to drop him and, hopefully, not cause any severe damage (a broken nose isn't severe). I think you had every right to defend yourself from his cowardly assault.
 
Don't let it get to you man. Your dad sounds like a fucking dick, no offense.

You love your sister, maybe the self defense you exhibited came from that anger to your dad.

From what I see, he deserved it. Was your dad drinking at all?
 
I think this could be a new business. If a father started getting abusive, the child could call us, and for a small fee, we could pay the father a visit for a "consultation". How much could charge for the service? I'm still working on a name for the new business.
 
Those last two actually made me laugh about the situation. Which makes me feel a little bad, but from what I can see I got the peeps on my side here.

I think the thing that made me feel bad was that I know that had I laid my father out man. I never in my life thought I would have to do that.

lies on myspace- No, he ain't dead. I talked to my grandmother today and she spent roughly ten minutes yelling at me for it.
 
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