anyone comment on my poetry?

  • Thread starter Thread starter :)bry-la™<3
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:)bry-la™<3

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Words cannot come
From my lips
When I see you
My whole world tips
I know nothing
Yet I know everything
Everything I want to
Why is it so hard
To speak to you
You’re like a crystal shard
Trapped in my heart
Making it bleed
I cannot be freed
From the terror within
Or is the truth being hidden?
Do you have the same feeling?
Or am I just kidding?
Is this a lie?
Or should we try?
-Bry Pierce

please comment...remember im only 13 and i've only recently started writing poetry...me and my best friend stacie (most of u probably know her) love poetry now and it helps me clear my head...just want some constructive criticism to see of it's any good. please and thank you
thanks for all ur postive feedback it really helps :)
 
Wow, I think the poem is really good and it seems so true. I do wonder how a age 13 you have the knowledge of this kind of pain. Seems very mature to me, but good job.
 
Very good! The talent is there. The flow is OK, and the rhythm is good. Just keep on writing, preferably on other topics, say nature 4 Ex:
 
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