Two female military privates were ordered to paint the general's office. They were warned not to get paint on their unifirms so they locked the door, stripped off their clothes and got to work.
An hour later there was a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" they asked.
"Blind man."
Thinking nothing of it, the women opened the door.
"Hi," said the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"
Ouch!
or
One bright summer day an attractive young lady, very much the debutante, went up on the roof of her London hotel for some sun bathing. She laid down in a likely spot but noticed that in a few minutes the shadow of a neighboring building began to cover her legs. She sat up and looked around for a better location. Off to her right was a large flat area that couldn't be overlooked so she moved to it. She turned around slowly and noticed that no one was in sight. She smiled and proceeded to remove her bathing suit top, then her suit bottom, laid face down, draped a towel across her rump, and drifted off to sleep.
Some time later she woke and opened her eyes to see a pair of brightly-polished shoes in front of her. She glanced up. An officious-looking man in formal attire stood at near attention, carefully avoiding looking down at her. "Madam," he said stiffly. "I am afraid you cannot sun bath here."
"But why not?" she asked. "I'm up here all by myself and I'm not bothering anyone."
The man cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Madam, you are sunbathing on the glass roof of the restaurant."
Again ouch!
