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Any really funny jokes ?
- Thread starter audrey
- Start date
P
pjk
Guest
A person was asked today if he wanted to contribute to the children's home, it took me ages to round the kids up!
Cross ♦ road
New member
At the ONU countries introduce their new projects for knowing the universe.
JAPAN will send an spaceship, human crew, to mars and start a new civilization underground to colonize the planet.
FRANCE and GERMANY together will send an spaceship with a robot going beyond the already known universe.
The USA will show proves there`s an alien civilization living in a planet out from our solar system. USA already has american people living in their planet and we have aliens living between us.
Finally, SPAIN, who played they were the first world when rich countries gave them money they cound`t keep, said ¨ We will discover the origin of the universe by sending an spaceship, human crew, to place upon each star of our system to explore and develop when all it started ¨
Everybody got surprised and first thing they said it was too extremely hot for a human even for any spaceship !
Spanish scientist said : ¨ We have all planned. There won`t be high temperatures as we will send our men during night ! ¨.
JAPAN will send an spaceship, human crew, to mars and start a new civilization underground to colonize the planet.
FRANCE and GERMANY together will send an spaceship with a robot going beyond the already known universe.
The USA will show proves there`s an alien civilization living in a planet out from our solar system. USA already has american people living in their planet and we have aliens living between us.
Finally, SPAIN, who played they were the first world when rich countries gave them money they cound`t keep, said ¨ We will discover the origin of the universe by sending an spaceship, human crew, to place upon each star of our system to explore and develop when all it started ¨
Everybody got surprised and first thing they said it was too extremely hot for a human even for any spaceship !
Spanish scientist said : ¨ We have all planned. There won`t be high temperatures as we will send our men during night ! ¨.
Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great" said little Johnny, "cuz he’d be screwed if he needed glasses".
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great" said little Johnny, "cuz he’d be screwed if he needed glasses".
lol i heard that lady gaga joke.
Ok heres some long jokes
There's 3 people stranded on a desert island. A brunnette, blonde, and redhead. The nearest city is 200 miles away. The red head swims 100 miles then drowns. The brunnette swims 150 miles then drowns. The blonde swims 199.99 miles then says im tired and swims back to the island.
3 best friends are on the bottom of a hill. Ones a pilot, a runner, and a clumsy man. They run up the hill and found a genie lamp. they rubbed the lamp and a genie came out. The genie said," run down this hill and say what you want to be and i will turn you into that thing" The pilot runs down and says i want to be a plane. So he turned into a plane. Then the runner ran down and said i wanna be a cheetah. So he turned into a cheetah. then the clumsy man ran down the hill and tripped on a rock and yelled"sh*t!" so he got turned into a piece of sh*t
Ok heres some long jokes
There's 3 people stranded on a desert island. A brunnette, blonde, and redhead. The nearest city is 200 miles away. The red head swims 100 miles then drowns. The brunnette swims 150 miles then drowns. The blonde swims 199.99 miles then says im tired and swims back to the island.
3 best friends are on the bottom of a hill. Ones a pilot, a runner, and a clumsy man. They run up the hill and found a genie lamp. they rubbed the lamp and a genie came out. The genie said," run down this hill and say what you want to be and i will turn you into that thing" The pilot runs down and says i want to be a plane. So he turned into a plane. Then the runner ran down and said i wanna be a cheetah. So he turned into a cheetah. then the clumsy man ran down the hill and tripped on a rock and yelled"sh*t!" so he got turned into a piece of sh*t