Any other young people trying to stay sober??

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Nicci57

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Hi,

I'm 23 and as of now, have only been sober for a month (alcohol). I've really been trying to quit for the past year and a half now, but I seem to keep slipping up every month or two. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, but when it happens, I get ridiculously drunk because I never know when I will be able to drink again. I am really worried about future slip ups because I drink myself into such black outs that I end up lying in streets or knocking on people's doors for more alcohol. Things that I just can't believe really happen to me when I drink.

In any case, I was just wondering if there are any other younger people out there who are trying to stay sober. I've really, really been struggling because it's such a popular thing for people of this age. I get invited to go out and drink or go to places where people may just be casually drinking. I've tried explaining to a few of my new frienRAB that I can't drink without getting completely wasted, but they seem to think that they can help me to drink normally. People just really don't seem to understand it, which makes it even worse. "How can you not just have a few drinks??" They don't understand the craving or how desperate it makes me.

I'm finally beginning to accept that I can't drink normally (I black out almost every time I try), but it's still so hard to abstain when it's such an accepted norm in our society to drink. How in the hell do you do it?? What do you say to others and how do you deal when you hear everyone else talking about a party or something?? It really seems like everyone else drinks and it's hard to stay away from it. Seeing it or hearing others talk about it makes it much harder for me to stay sober. I've tried AA, but just haven't really gotten into it. I really want/need to stay sober because I'm really worried about what might happen to me while I'm drunk. I guess some success stories or advice or anything would be appreciated!!

Thanks,

Nicci
 
Well, I'm not really sure what your idea of "young" is, but I'm 29, and I've been trying out different forms of sobriety ever since I was about 19, so I know all about how hard it can be.

My problem was mostly with Opiates, but I ended up quitting drinking as well. I tried the AA and NA programs, and I just didn't really feel comfortable there. My main problem wasn't with "the steps" but with the organization itself. Hanging out with a bunch of other people with substance problems seems like a disaster waiting to happen to me. People were always coming and going, and relapsing etc, not to mention sometimes I would leave a "meeting" feeling worse than when I arrived after listening to 1.5 hours of talk about drinking/using.

Ironically, when I finally did get clean and stay clean it was a lot easier than it ever was when I was going to AA/NA. The first thing I did was created structure in my life. I had just got a new job, I started scheduling almost everything in my whole day and made sure I didn't have any idle time. I know I'm at my worst when I'm bored, so I made sure I didn't get there. I had times when I wanted to use, but I always just put it off. I told myself I would use later, or tomorrow if I still wanted to and when that time came I never wanted to use. Keeping myself busy made this much easier to do as well.

Unfortunately, the reality of this is that your personal life WILL NOT be the same. I had to finally stop and ask myself "Why do I need to go out to a bar, or a club? What's wrong with spending a Saturday night at home watching a movie?"(Or going to a movie, or whatever else might work) Once you come to the realization that such things are OK, life will be much simpler, and you might save a bit of money as well. There really are a LOT of ways to have fun without even being anywhere near alcohol, it just doesn't seem like it at this point in time.

If I were in your position, I think the first thing I would do would be find some new things to do on the weekenRAB, and maybe even find some new people to do these things with if your frienRAB aren't prepared to do anything that doesn't involve a drink or two.

Edit: One more thing that I really think helped me, but is far from orthodox and isn't for everyone: I bought a puppy. I really think that having another living thing around that needed me to take care of it helped a lot. It also helped to occupy me on those nights I spent at home instead of at a bar/club.
 
Well... I just typed out a long response and then it wouldn't post:(:( Basically, it said that I have found sobriety in much the same way that you have. I wouldn't be able to stay sober if I wouldn't have changed my lifestyle. I have literally had to stop talking to some people and keep myself away from bars and parties. It's taken a long time to realize that I CAN'T go to those places and expect to stay sober. Sometimes it's hard wanting to stay in for a "quiet" weekend because I still miss the "excitement" and the feeling I got from drinking... but I suppose that is what addiction is.

I'm happy to hear about your sobriety and hope to be able to follow suit!!

-Nicci
 
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