Any intellectual or clever one-liners which work effectively in common topics?

Pain

New member
As short and effective as the following...
Hipsterism;
I once tried to eat pie before it was cool; ended up burning my tongue.
Eastern religion;
Confucius say that he who make mistake on elevator is wrong on many levels.
 
Confucius say man who take laxative before sleep wake up in deep sh!t
Confucius say baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk
Confucius say man who walk in front of car get tired
Confucius say man who walk behind car get exhausted
Confucius say man who put hand in pocket all day must be feeling cocky
Confucius say man eat picture of father soon spitting image of father
Confucius say man who cut self when shaving lose face
Confucius say man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner
Confucius say woman laid in tomb will soon become mummy
Confucius say woman who put detergent on top shelf soon jump for Joy

Korean roads are always empty because everyone is parking

Some guy threw cheese and milk on me. How dairy.

Some guy sent ten puns to a pun contest. He hoped at least one of them would win but no pun in ten did.
 
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