While I was in BMT(Air Force) back in '98, our dorm guard had the 0200-0400 shift. This guy was a total prick,never helped anyone with anything. I woke up at about 0330 and had to urinate REALLY bad(from all the water they kept making us drink so we wont dehydrate). So I get up and go to the latrine. The dorm guard freaks out and runs into the latrine while I'm taking a p!ss and starts screaming:
DG: WHAT are you doing in here?!?!?
Me: Uhhh..using the restroom
DG: Go back to bed NOWWWW!
Me: Ok.....(still peeing)
DG: I said NOWWWWWWW!!
Me: Ok.....(still peeing)
The dorm guard ends up grabbing my shirt and pulls me away from the urinal and pee flys everywhere. I managed to get my shorts up and the DG opened the latrine door and pushed me out and said:
DG: Don't get up again!
Sad thing was,this guy was in our flight. He wasn't a TI or someone from a graduating flight. I walk back to my bunk and everyone must have heard because all eyes were on me. The guys whispered:
"Hey....what's going on? We thought that was the TI.
Me: Dude,wouldnt let me p!ss.
So,everyone in both bays,approx 55 guys,all get up at the same time,and go into the latrine.
The DG almost shit himself
As we were all in the latrine,the DG comes in and starts screaming again and as he's screaming we hear the "knock". Which is a loud banging on the door because that means the TI is here. We all hurry to bed and the DG opens the door for the TI and said:
TI: What the HELL is going on here,Airman!?!?!
DG: Sir, Airman _____ reports as ordered(reporting statement), everyone was in the latrine.
TI: What do you mean everyone was in the latrine? You mean to tell me everyone had to p!ss at the exact same moment in time? Must be a freak thing,dont you think?!?!?!
Dg: I dont know,sir?
TI: Airman,YOU dont know,you better have a good reason to why everyone in this dorm was in the latrine.
DG: sir, I think they were playing a joke on me
TI: A JOKE,huh? So,we have comedians in here! Which one is Jerry Seinfeld?
DG: No,sir, Airman_____(me) went to the latrine and I went in and told him to go back to bed.
TI: So,Airman____(me) is NOT ALLOWED to take a p!ss?
DG: Yes,he is sir
TI: Then WHY did you tell him to go back to bed!??
That whole day,the TI had the DG do everything for me,make my bed,fold my clothes, shine my boots,even tie my shoes for me.
DG: WHAT are you doing in here?!?!?
Me: Uhhh..using the restroom
DG: Go back to bed NOWWWW!
Me: Ok.....(still peeing)
DG: I said NOWWWWWWW!!
Me: Ok.....(still peeing)
The dorm guard ends up grabbing my shirt and pulls me away from the urinal and pee flys everywhere. I managed to get my shorts up and the DG opened the latrine door and pushed me out and said:
DG: Don't get up again!
Sad thing was,this guy was in our flight. He wasn't a TI or someone from a graduating flight. I walk back to my bunk and everyone must have heard because all eyes were on me. The guys whispered:
"Hey....what's going on? We thought that was the TI.
Me: Dude,wouldnt let me p!ss.
So,everyone in both bays,approx 55 guys,all get up at the same time,and go into the latrine.
The DG almost shit himself
As we were all in the latrine,the DG comes in and starts screaming again and as he's screaming we hear the "knock". Which is a loud banging on the door because that means the TI is here. We all hurry to bed and the DG opens the door for the TI and said:
TI: What the HELL is going on here,Airman!?!?!
DG: Sir, Airman _____ reports as ordered(reporting statement), everyone was in the latrine.
TI: What do you mean everyone was in the latrine? You mean to tell me everyone had to p!ss at the exact same moment in time? Must be a freak thing,dont you think?!?!?!
Dg: I dont know,sir?
TI: Airman,YOU dont know,you better have a good reason to why everyone in this dorm was in the latrine.
DG: sir, I think they were playing a joke on me
TI: A JOKE,huh? So,we have comedians in here! Which one is Jerry Seinfeld?
DG: No,sir, Airman_____(me) went to the latrine and I went in and told him to go back to bed.
TI: So,Airman____(me) is NOT ALLOWED to take a p!ss?
DG: Yes,he is sir
TI: Then WHY did you tell him to go back to bed!??
That whole day,the TI had the DG do everything for me,make my bed,fold my clothes, shine my boots,even tie my shoes for me.