C
ColoradoLady
Guest
So a few years back I used to be super involved with volvunteer work and sports. For example I have played Hockey my whole life and used to abosolutly love it. Now..I don't like it, I don't like anything. A lot of joy I had for things is gone. ..It all started a few years ago, I was helping coach a hockey team and as I looked at my schdule I realized how busy I was I got the worst feeling inside of me. I felt Like I would have no time left for anything and you be a slave to the volunteer work. The only way I could justify in my mind the ridance of this anxiety was to not coach and back out of it. Ever sence that day (a few years back) I have been having lots and lots of anxiety over what seems like nothing. I have now gone from a ton volunteer, to less and not virtually none. Just the idea of commiting one day brings back all this anxiety. And now, the anxiety is spreading to other things in my life. One being work. I am now completly terrified of work and although I am in school now and dreading the anxiety that I know I will have when I start working. My anxiety comes at night.. and laying in bed, for hours with the worst thought and panic attacks happening is terrible feeling. I now stay up verrry late and sleep in because its better for me to not try and sleep until I am exhausted in order to prevent the anxiety...Besides this, simple things like planning to hang out with a friend outside of my immediate family seems exciting for me.. up until the night before,..when i get lots of anxiety and the only answer for me is to get out of the sitatuoin. Although most of the time in the morning I think more logically and force myself to go I still hate the anxiety and as a result am starting to just not doing anything so that I avoid the pain. Also I have ocd issues. I know that ocd is in us all a bit but Im starting to see mine get worse. I consitenly chek plugs over and over again, I can literally convince myself that I may not have passed somehting in, even though I rmemebr doing it, and so I have to verify it, I have to get appliance double checked by others after I leave the house.
This seems like a lot but I don't know if its time for me to talk to a doctor. Right now Im terrified for the future, my dream world would be to stay at home, not work, only do fun things like watch tv...which i know is unrealistic but I still can't get rid of the anxiety.
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This seems like a lot but I don't know if its time for me to talk to a doctor. Right now Im terrified for the future, my dream world would be to stay at home, not work, only do fun things like watch tv...which i know is unrealistic but I still can't get rid of the anxiety.
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