Another short poem for your consideration.?

T

TerryJackofHearts

New member
Broken sunbeams lay across my heart
Somewhere in the south of France
Someone got a new start

Tomorrow is the start of a better day
that's what you promised
when you walked my way

Now I stand on this castle of broken sand
hearing the faint cry of yesterday
clinging to this golden strand

I've strung it to my guitar
it's a tribute to you
no matter where you are
 
I like the poem. Almost all poems can stand some polishing....I guess the issue of breaking up or conclusion is what I miss. What did you learn? What happened? Logical questions. Perhaps you can say what you smelled/felt/heard/ touched/ or tasted to make it more vivid.
 
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