Another poem...please read and share thoughts?

[kurious kat]

Another poem...thoughts please?
my bed laid cool and empty
but the pillow still had life
A sunken circle, almost surfaced
i knew you were warming up someone else's
you were taken, you were "her's"
and we didn't care, as we laid there fingering each other's hair
i would bring you close, kiss those dangerous lips, then let you go
those mysterious and impossible to read holes
looked at me, looked away, and left me wanting more
unsure of our doings, we continued this perfect mess
days would come, not seeing you at all
then when the chance came, soon there we were
laughing, playing, indulging in that bitter empowering taste
so many questions, few answers, plenty of carelessness
both unsure...of the connection that keeps us there
unsure...but sure at the same, but we hardly say a word
and it continues, your presence, i'm not ready to lose
my bed lays semi warm...
now you aren't "her's", you freed yourself from a mess
clueless to whose bed you've been warming
i know you don't sleep alone...
and it brings my insides out a little
my thoughts scatter and i shove them back in
leaving me feeling nausas
as i quit the fight of my endless thoughts
i sit in my defeat....still wanting to see you


To BE...thanks for your honesty. I want to know if my writing is crap right now.

 

[Maraiya]

I think it is very well written, unusual and very interesting. You are extremely talented.

I hope you can write something that has a solution to it at some point, and then you will be inspiring your readers with what you have learned from it and how you pulled yourself up out of it.