Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months, and he has always had anger issues, and recently has been working on them. Slightly.
He doesn't have a problem being open, but he has this very analytical mind, so when we do argue (I will get to that) he just tears my premise' (statements/arguments) apart until I'm left bumbling and trying to find my footing to make a statement. He does this, because (and he has explained) when he gets mad he finds his sole purpose (and he can't help this it seems) to be to prove the other person wrong in all matters, and mentally tear them apart.
My problem is that he spends all his time playing Maple story (a video game), and although I do nag him to spend more time with me I have been trying to take an interest in his game. In my perspective he seems to snap at me like a dog that just shat on the carpet whenever I try to take an interest, ask him about it, or try to engage him in any way. I feel like ****, and he doesn't even realize that he is snapping. (my opinion).
then I react badly, which is hard, because if I just sit and ignore it I feel abused, and if I try to explain it to him I get mad. We don't yell at each other, but we do say hurtful things.
He thinks that I am the once initiating the anger, which I may be since it's my own interpretation of his actions that causes the negativity in my own mind and causes me to react accordingly.
However, the biggest thing which he dislikes about me is how I am always angry, and it seems to me that my annoyed demeanor is coming from either reacting to his negative comments, or trying to ignore them and muffle my own feelings of being treated like ****.
I don't know how to fix this challenge in our relationship, and we don't really have a social circle to call out upon. Any ideas? help, please? I really like this guy, and I don't want to end this relationship. Most end because of bad communication.
PS: Just an fyi moment. Tomorrow is our 7 month anniversary.
He doesn't have a problem being open, but he has this very analytical mind, so when we do argue (I will get to that) he just tears my premise' (statements/arguments) apart until I'm left bumbling and trying to find my footing to make a statement. He does this, because (and he has explained) when he gets mad he finds his sole purpose (and he can't help this it seems) to be to prove the other person wrong in all matters, and mentally tear them apart.
My problem is that he spends all his time playing Maple story (a video game), and although I do nag him to spend more time with me I have been trying to take an interest in his game. In my perspective he seems to snap at me like a dog that just shat on the carpet whenever I try to take an interest, ask him about it, or try to engage him in any way. I feel like ****, and he doesn't even realize that he is snapping. (my opinion).
then I react badly, which is hard, because if I just sit and ignore it I feel abused, and if I try to explain it to him I get mad. We don't yell at each other, but we do say hurtful things.
He thinks that I am the once initiating the anger, which I may be since it's my own interpretation of his actions that causes the negativity in my own mind and causes me to react accordingly.
However, the biggest thing which he dislikes about me is how I am always angry, and it seems to me that my annoyed demeanor is coming from either reacting to his negative comments, or trying to ignore them and muffle my own feelings of being treated like ****.
I don't know how to fix this challenge in our relationship, and we don't really have a social circle to call out upon. Any ideas? help, please? I really like this guy, and I don't want to end this relationship. Most end because of bad communication.
PS: Just an fyi moment. Tomorrow is our 7 month anniversary.