Anger management.

P

permafrost

New member
;839877']Yep. I'm in it... again.

According to my counselor, I have extremely destructive levels of anger. I have supressed hostility, misdirected emotions, and some other pretty big words.

We had a long talk about my marriages (yes, plural). I told the guy that Danni was more of a counterweight to my anger and issues- that she managed to soothe me with her presence and her words.

We also went on to discuss my ex. It seems I have a lot of anger toward her- He said I used strong words like "betrayer", and "harlot". I did. I suppose I took him back when he asked what I wished of her. My answer? "Misery, agony, and no one to turn to. I want her to cut herself a thousand times over and wallow in her own shit. I want God to avert his eyes from her."

I kinda realized that the things that drive me to anger are things that should drive anyone to anger, but I take it a little too far.

We discussed how I feel when I get angry, which is not normal.

Maybe I am an asshole.
 
Well i cant say im in exactly your situation or that i ever will be, but i have a pretty bad temper myself. I used to go around all pissed off at everything , if i stubbed my toe i beat the shit out of something (usually in animate objects , but sometimes no so much). I kinda learned to control most of it but i still get really pissed off and cause harm to myself and usually others. Ive broken sevral bones in my hand (boxer bone a my index finger a few times) because i hit stuff hard. It really helps if you have something to let out on, i'm stuipid and used the ground and trees and stuff. maybe you can find something better
 
You know, I don't think anger is the problem. I think holding onto it is.

Letting the actions of others control how you feel will destroy your spirit. Your ex is still controlling you by her past and present actions. Let it go, just let it float away like a blood filled demonic balloon.

You are not the only divorced man to still be emotionally controlled by a stupid cunt whore.

There comes a point, however, when you must refuse to let yourself be controlled by what an insiginificant person does. Her actions were entwined in your life, but they were not your life.

Know what I mean, jelly bean?
 
I suppose we all have anger issues in some form or another. I am bipolar and have fought with this for some 25 years now. I have found as I have grown older and wiser that the fits of rage and the tantrums I threw were not necessarily anger but rather hurt and disappointment.

I am a relatively calm person who likes peace and harmony. Rock my boat though and someone winds up getting hurt. It's usually me. Broken hand from punching the wall. 14 stitches in my hand because I was gonna hit my husband with a metal broomstick and he jerked it out of my hand and a piece of metal sliced it wide open. So stupid shit like that. And I've noticed its usually because of some stupid petty thing that just sets me the fuck off.

When a real crisis arises I'm calm as a cucumber and everyone else is freaking out. I have learned that I am turning the hurt, the lack of affection, the need to be needed and the disappointment I have for the ones I love into rage. So maybe you have some of these issues and its not necessarily that you are an asshole.

People let us down. Especially the ones we love. Sometimes they do it over and over. Some people just aren't affectionate and compassionate or are so self absorbed they forget about their insignificant other and their needs. Shit I need to call for an appointment with my psychiatrist now.
 
it's holloween your candy anology should have had something to do with candy corn not jelly beans that's easter.

[HOSTILE] i'm not the smartest of people but i know that i've had a few periods in my life (however short it's been so far) where my anger has gotten me into trouble. (not gonna go into it)
i finally figured out the best place to filter that anger out is through my sporting activities, seriously people say go for a run fuck that, play lacrosse, rugby, football, hockey something with contact.
it helps me, hell i play organized and unorganized games to help myself out it's a cliche i know but it works for me. get out thier and find a club they aren't hard to find or get the army boys out on a random field and play some football no pads full contact, just like ya used to do at momma's house.
 
Interesting you should bring this up. I just had an interesting weekend. A bit of history first, though.

I have always had quite a temper, even while quite young. Before I was in my teens I had almost seriously injured a couple of my brothers by taking my anger out on them, and shoving them towards corners or such. (All my siblings are younger.)

Somewhere around the age of 13 or 14 I realized that I was probably going to seriously hurt someone if I kept going as I was, and so I started training myself to restrain my anger from people and take it out on inanimate objects. Since then I've put a couple holes in walls and doors, but haven't hurt anyone.

Just this weekend I found out how well I have taught myself to restrain myself from taking my anger out on people. I had a party, and a minor showed up. I know her, but I didn't want her here that night. So I asked her to leave, and she refused. I started to get mad, and demanded that she leave.

From what I recall (I was a little drunk), I never got physical at all; but I did get quite vocal about demanding that she leave. Eventually she did.

Shortly after this, I noticed another girl going through a drawer of my things. I closed the drawer and told her I didn't like her looking through my stuff. Later I saw her at it again. I shoved the drawer in place, and demanded that she leave. She was a bitch about it, but after I yelled at her a few times she finally walked out.

At this point I was fucking livid. I honestly can't remember possibly ever being as mad as I was that time. I turned and slammed my fist into the cupboards and fridge multiple times, splitting the skin and causing muscle bruising. It hurt to hold anything for a couple days after.

I do have somewhat of a pent-up rage that I keep inside. I hate our legal system, I hate how our dollar is so high right now, I hate how broke I am, I hate how much I have to pay for internet, I hate how I can't seem to put on weight, I hate how high gas prices are, I hate criminals, ... I hate alot of things.

But at the same time, that doesn't mean that I'm going to take it out on someone. Sure, I have anger, but that doesn't mean I have anger management problems. Just because I wish a life of hell on someone doesn't mean I'm actually going to do anything to make it a reality.


Hostile, as I've said before, yes, you are an asshole. But seriously, we need more of your type around. The world would be a better place.

Good luck with your anger management!
 
I more or less agree. The "less" being that sometimes we always will have ill-feelings torwards someone. I don't believe Hostile would ever really act on these feelings and he's shown us (via past instances with the whore) that when push comes to shove he doesn't have a dead bitch in a dumpster. He is responsible. He also speaks his mind.

However, the more...

Hostile, you've told us that the dumb bitch is just fucking herself over. Whether or not it is enough to be considered "karma" doesn't really matter. You're happier than she could ever be. At this point I think you should just scoff and refuse to have any pity and be done with it.

Your "anger" issues seem more like "I honestly vocalize how I feel" issues. Loudly. Loud raw emotion is scary to people.
 
Ill feelings are natural. Anger is natural. Feeling it is natural, and how the human body deals with a stressor. Holding onto it and letting it control you is different than feeling, it is succumbing to that feeling. You have to train yourself to be stronger than you collective emotions by finding your center and releasing negative emotions in a healthy manner. Me, I just be quiet and breathe deeply.

There are also some meditation tricks that may help, and aside from herbal assistance, things like epsom salt, quartz, and crystal can help absorb negative energy if you focus it correctly. Sounds corny, but millions of pagans can't be wrong.
 
Wait, hold on a motherfucking second!

[HOSTILE], you are a military man. It is your job, your chosen profession, to exist as a cog in the mightiest war machine that has ever marched across this pitiful ball of dirt. At the passing whim of whomever is in power, your sole purpose is to crush, maim and completely destroy anyone that dares to mutter indignities in the general direction of our great nation.

As a trained (and, I'm sure, competant) killing machine, has it ever crossed the effeminate, cockloving minds of these psychotherapists that maybe, maybe 'overblown, misdirected anger' might be useful?

It just seems very queer (the old use of this word, by the way) to me that we are trying to fix a problem that may be beneficial, or nonexistant.

I've said the same things about my ex. I wasn't as poetic as you were, but the same general feelings apply to most people. Anger is normal. You tracking her down and shoving a mercury-soaked rag down her throat with a broomstick is not.


In a nutshell: You are military. Military kills people. Anger kills people, ergo angry military do their job better, so long as it does not seep over into their personal life. And I don't think anyone here has seen you talk with anything less than respect for 90% of the people that are close to you, be it Danni or other family.


I bet I'll get flak for this one, but I'm tired, and I ramble when I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Tell your counselor to eat...something large, fallic and, I don't know, infected.
 
No, military men need the capacity to still have a level head. You don't want someone nearby to give away your position with massive yells and wild gunfire. Emotional control (and thereby stability) is crucial to all military.
 
Which, so far as I know, he has in adequate capacity. He would not have gotten as far as he has otherwise, I think.

The only 'problem', that I can see, is that he tends to speak his mind more than people are used to. I'm sure the counselor is used to people candy-coating their feelings and shit, and is likely not so used to someone just coming out and saying what they feel. I know a kid that got kicked out of the Navy for being 'mentally unstable' because he answered 'yes' when he was asked if he wanted to kill anyone.
 
While I agree, you have to understand that they work off of cookie cutter "norms" that if the man you are giving a gun has a stupid grin on his face and says he wants to kill people, you probably don't want to give him a gun.
 
There is a huge difference between being a soldier and a hero and having anger and hostility in your heart.

Anger and hostility, going unchecked, lead to hatred.

To quote David Gemmell's line in one of his books for the most part it goes something like

When faced with an enemy, you can either defeat him, run from him, or befriend him, but an enemy you hate will never befriend you.

A soldier's first and foremost resposibility is to protect freedoms. Secondly, a soldiers responsibility is to foster peace. You can't foster peace if you hate.
 
Back
Top