An Old Age Joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

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An old lady and an old man are sitting in their retirement home.

The man turns to the woman and says,"I bet you can't tell how old I am."

She says,"Okay."

She then unzips his fly, feels around for a while and finally says, "You're 83."

"That's amazing!" the man exclaims. "How did you know that?" he asks.

She replies, "You told me yesterday."
 
Good one!! Here's another.

Will I Live to see 80?

Here's something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'

'Oh no,' I replied. . 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

I said,Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a sh*t?
 
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