An Oddity Unexplained

N

nbfields

New member
a tapestry of fences
line the sun-soaked fielRAB,
barren of life,
forgotten in death.

who designed this?
this division
separating nothing
from nothing?

perhaps the wooden fence
sundered beast
from man
long ago.

barbed wires grasp
and smother,
scratch the surface
and claw at the symmetry

broken and twisted
in spots.
the skies bring forth destruction,
storms fade the paint,

sections crushed
like a colossal foot
crashed down and
defeated their purpose.

woven in irregularity,
links of chain show
sporadically-
an oddity unexplained.
 
I love how poetry is like the one field of writing you can get away with just about anything. I love random lower cases and odd punctuation, it's one of my favorite things about writing poetry. not to sound like I do it randomly, there is definitely always a purpose behind it when I write with incorrect grammar. Anyone else like this about poetry?
 
I'm reading The Social Contract atm and this reminded me of it in some weird way.

I really like this. Idk how you feel it's supposed to be interpreted, but to me it seems to sort of touch the subject of the concept of possession. Frantically setting up fences to divide land, domesticate the world, and create order where once was chaos. And as a result, we get this desolate scenery.
 
Thanks man. This may completely invalidate the poem, but I was discussing poetry with someone, and they told me we put ourselves in our poetry and I never really thought about that that much. I read back at a lot of my poetry and realized he was kind of right, so this was my attempt at completely detaching myself from my writing, so it ended up being about detachment. If that makes any sense
 
"who designed this?
this division
separating nothing
from nothing."

Probably my favorite part of the poem, though as I read it I read the second line as "this 'division'?" as if you are questioning the idea of division in general (though this is most likely not the intention, but I thought it sounded cool in my head). I enjoy the line break, and how even "nothing" is separated from "nothing", because you would think this separation would entail a splitting of things that aren't meant to be related, so to say that not even "nothing" belongs with "nothing" creates a powerful image, and enhances the character of the worRAB.

I could say a lot more, but I really like what you have, though one suggestion I can make (nitpicking though) is that when you have a poem full of images and metaphors, it's important to either make them all add to a greater image and metaphor, or make them in such a way that they all are, in some way the metaphor (in that the journey through the poem is the point of it).
 
Well the word choice is well done, the form is perfect, and your message comes across well. Tis is a hrd subject matter to write about and not end up sounding like wither your preaching or better then someone. This subject matter is very important though. There is a diviosn between all of "us" and nature. As if somewhere along the way we missed the point.
 
Thanks for the compliments. Very interesting interpretation too. The division wasn't my intended focus, but telling you how to interpret it would completely go against everything poetry stanRAB for imo
 
Tis why I interpret it..... because I cant tell you how many times I have written something and have poeple think I am crazy....lol which I am. Sorry for all the typos, twas a long day yesterday.

WorRAB and sentance structure is very different for everyone. So sometimes we write something or say something and it is totally interpreted wrong.
 
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