You need a plan here. She is the type of person that figures if you are not saying No, you are saying Yes, to her rantings. How do I know that. because I am the type of person that will talk if no one else is saying No. Then they start to dislike me, but they think they are being "Polite" by listening, until one day they get fed up, (like you are) and just stop being a friend and fade away, dont want to ever do anything with you etc..
Well you cant because she is your Mother in Law, and it is better to heal than to burn bridges.
So you need to take her to coffee etc somewhere fairly quiet and relaxing. Important: Dont do this in your home or hers. Get the enviroment neutral and people will feel less powerful. She can't stamp off to the kitchen or bathroom or order you out. Same for you. You will feel less likely to yell at her or be mean in public.
So set up a date. Dont tell her why other than that you would love to go someplace alone with her and share to ideas with her.
When you get this date set up and arrive there, you pay for everything, and you treat her with respect but not overly sappy.
If she starts ranting to control the conversation, just simply put your hand up for a second and say" can i share something with you first please"?
Dont make this about her being a bad person or that she isnt allowed to have strong opinions. There are people that would LOVE to talk this stuff with her all day and night, and hopefully she is married to one. There is a need for people to "sound the alarm" as it were, so respect her position. She may think you are too aloof and apathetic about the world situation, so she may feel she is trying to " educate you" . She just has no boundaries.
So you are going to mention that you" respect that there is a need to discuss the issues, but you are not able to process so much information at one time." Tell her you would love to talk about other things too. Ask her if she has any hobbies or other interests to talk about. Find a hobby or interest the two of you can discuss.
Part of being a good friend/ daughter in law will be to listen as well as talk, so dont ask or even expect her to give up the conspiracy talk completely, and tell her so that you dont expect her to.
Then come up with a signal that can be used by you when its getting to be too much conspiracy talk. Perhaps you can tap her hand or squeeze her hand if you are close. Touch is very important affection thing and it shows you care enough to touch her. If you are not close to her or cant reach her, come up with a signal such as tapping your chest over your heart and give her the droopy sad eyes, which shows her you are hurting a bit with this talk.
I like the quiet signals because words can be said, but when you are hurting , they can be said in a harse tone you may not even realize that is easily read by the other party, such as when we say SOOORRRY, verses, a humble " sorry".
This will also help her in social situations because I guarantee you that you are not the only one tired of this.
You can kind of be her "conspiracy talk " meter. Give her the signals to warn her that people are showing sign of being overwhelmed.
End your time with something light and humorous, tell her you love her and her passion for ideas. Bring up some hobbies or interests you have that you would love to share with her. Dont end the time abrutly just after talking about the issue. She will read that you just want to cut her off and you dont really care about her. Plus, the drive home will be uncomfortable.
Then put your plan into practice. Soon, she will probably not even need the signals and you will have helped her socially be a more rounded person.
Dont forget to look her in the eye, sit squarely to her and be attentive when she talks, dont wander you eyes away from her when you are being serious.
Hope you have a long wonderful relationship with her!
