Am i good at poetry, im wondering?

K

Kelsey C

New member
i want to know whether im good at poetry or not, my friends say i am, but i dont believe them, here's my three poems

I know I shouldn’t fight her
But she gets me so mad
We’re like day and night
She’s happy and gay
I’m sad and dark
We never get along
I hate her
But she loves me
That’s what I think anyway
I can never be too sure
She always lies to everyone
She makes enemies out of simple things
She always yells at me
For the simplest of things
That’s why I’m the way I am
That’s why I cut myself
She’s a main part of my life
Yet I hate her guts
We just can’t get along for twelve minutes
Why can’t my mom and I get along?

I watch with wonder at how happy they can act
Don’t they ever feel as sad as me?
They are always happy, prancing around
While I’m always sad, watching from a distance
They can laugh and talk freely
I have to hold my tongue
They don’t have to worry about what others think
I have to otherwise it’ll turn out bad
They don’t know what real anger is
I have to deal with it all the time
We’re not the same
We’ll never be the same
They don’t understand the same things as me

I hold the knife to my wrist
Thinking of how it’ll be
I wonder if it’ll be swift and painless
Or if it’ll be long and excruciating
I wonder how my friends will act
Will they be happy
Or will they be sad
Will they wonder why I chose
a path like this
I wonder what my family would think
Would they be happy
and jump for joy
Or will they be sad
and mope around
Would they even know my reason
With all these thoughts running through my head
I can’t bring myself to commit the deed
The knife falls to the ground
As I think of what I nearly did
But then I remember why I want this
I pick up the knife again
Slicing my vein open
I watch as the blood pours
Knowing that I was finally free
And as I fall into darkness
My thoughts return to me
What’ll everyone think
But I knew it was already too late
A single tear drops
As I breathe in my last breath
 
Very simple. Try using better words than sad and happy. This sounds like your own random thoughts put down on paper. When writing poetry, try to think artistically. You don't have to say everything exactly as it is. You don't have to make it so everyone knows what you're saying. It's art.
Try adding personification to objects, like the knife. Tell us what it's thinking or feeling maybe. Try to add visuals if you find that easier. Make us see your story.
Also, let the words flow more.

I'm not very good but maybe you can find a little inspiration or at least see what I'm talking about.

http://www.myspace.com/pipperbic
All my poetry is in my blog.
 
Very simple. Try using better words than sad and happy. This sounds like your own random thoughts put down on paper. When writing poetry, try to think artistically. You don't have to say everything exactly as it is. You don't have to make it so everyone knows what you're saying. It's art.
Try adding personification to objects, like the knife. Tell us what it's thinking or feeling maybe. Try to add visuals if you find that easier. Make us see your story.
Also, let the words flow more.

I'm not very good but maybe you can find a little inspiration or at least see what I'm talking about.

http://www.myspace.com/pipperbic
All my poetry is in my blog.
 
yes I think your very good and no I don't think your thinking very clearly your romancing the act yet in the end your throwing a temper tantrum so knock it off get real and hey seek guidance for your inner being is endanger of over taking your real world hello this is GOD !
 
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