am i going through a pre midlife crisis?

[Destenee]

im only 19 and have always loved i know this sounds stupid but i have always loved peter pan. i never had my own world but i without a doubt thought that neverland was a real and hook and peter pan was more real than santa claus or the tooth fairy. i have always had an imagination and i sort of had too because of the fact that my brother was disabled and he got all the attention. so i had to grow up in a sence over night, all of a sudden i had to worry about all the concequences of my actions at the age of five. now im 19 and i still to this day love peter pan. but my ? is am i going throug a midlife crisis at 19 i for somereason cant remember how to imagine. i feel as if im dissapearing into the real world and out of my so called fantacy land i need an imagination thats what im going into for a living. but for some reason. all the happy thoughts as peter would call them are grownup happy thougts like instead of my happy thought being fighting pirates and indains as just a game to be played, my happy thought is not having to worry about the what ifs in life i think im going crazy here. please if your going to say something hurtfull i really cant deal withthat right now i get made fun of on a regular basis and dont need people on the internet giving me a hard time to all i really want to know is am i going crazy am i going though a midlife crisis at 19. thanx for not leaving a mean note. maybe i just need therapy. long answers are fine short answers are fine too just tell me whats going on cuz i think im loosing it