Am I close to death?

[DancerBaby]

Hello, according to my parents, I am obese and that I am close to death. I am currently 205 pounds and a height around 6 foot 1 inch.

Is this really bad? My parents, who are chinese (the chinese are tough on fat poeple or at least people who appear to be fat like me) claim that I will die soon if I don't start going on a diet and exercising. I grew up in North America (I lived in both Canada and the US) so I am used to seeing overweight people.

Is this really that bad?

 

[Tailzz]

THIS IS RIDICULOUS!! Shame on them for saying that to you. For heavens sake you are tall and could easily weigh 200 pounds. Good grief! That is not obese or means you are close to death at all. Don't believe that. Your weight has to be appropriate to your height and you are tall. Please don't believe this kind of talk ok. God Bless!

 

[Emys]

I am sure your parents have lot of different ideas about all kinds of things given the fact they come from China...and I am sure you have been through lots of conflicts with them as you grew up in the western world. They seem pretty convinced you are going to die so go to the doctor(pick a doctor with a heritage in China if you want) and have the doctor do a complete physical on you with blood work to see if your cholesterol and you fat levels are within normal limits and if you pass your physical then you have nothing to worry about and you can with total confidence tell your parents you are fine. You are not over weight for your height however it depends on how much junk food you have eaten over your life time so you really can't argue unless you have proof. Good luck...i suspect they wouldn't believe western medicine results either but this is where they live so this is what they will have to trust.

 

[Amor ♥]

Hi James! I'm sorry for this difficult situation for you. You are NOT overweight. As an adult, you should definitely take responsibility for your health and know your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. But that's simply something ALL of us should do. Unless you have other health issues you haven't mentioned, there would be no reason to think you are 'near death.' Relax and enjoy your life! :wave:

 

[SHARPY999]

James,

I understand your dilemma. I have a 15 year old son (white as rice), who's best friend since kindergarten is a first generation American citizen, born to parents, who fled a life in Communist China to make a new life in America, for their children.

My son's best friend is a wonderful, kind, smart, and admirable young man, and I have encouraged this friendship for him, my son and our entire family. I love him like a son, but it has been a struggle to reconcile his very rigid parents treatment of him and his younger brother.

I have actively tried over the course of 11 years to gain the trust of his mother, to prove that her son would be safe with me and my son...enjoying the simple events of elementary school through high school, that best friends do together.

I have learned that we cannot understand the deep set ideals of other cultures, and our young generation has moved into Western culture by choice. Your parents ideals of the correct body size and type is what they have been taught.

The western culture says differantly...it is OK to just be you. I think your best move is to be an active healthy young man, and share your confidence in yourself with your parents in a kind, patient, and loving way. Prove to them that you are fine, just as you are. Remember to thank them for giving you a chance to live in this new and open world. I imagine your parents made some very difficult and brave decisions, and your generation is lucky to get to change the world.

I know that my family is enriched by the deep and strong cultural influence that my son's best friend brings to us. Although I do not always understand our friends parents, I do respect their decisions, and do my best to bridge the cultural gap. Take the time to teach your parents, it will make you stronger.

You are certainly not near death, you are just beginning to live! You are just in a turning point in life...Time to grow up, and gently help your parents understand that you are perfectly happy, healthy, and excited to learn and grow. I hope that helps.